AccuWeather Forecast for Today – Sunshine – Que?‏

E-mail to AccuWeather HQ:

Sent: 22 September 2009 – 09:52:28

The AccuWeather site boast: “AccuWeather has developed a new algorithm that calculates what the temperature really feels like outside – named (appropriately enough) the RealFeel Temperature.

Windchill and apparent temperature only tell part of the story. The RealFeel factors conditions such as the amount of sun, elevation, carbon exchange cap n trade rates, atmospheric C02, overnight bullshit levels – and so very much more.”

What a pile of crap – why don’t they come up with an advanced algorithm that can detect if it’s raining or not – like sticking their head out of the Met’ forecast centre window? Unless the entire shebang has been outsourced to India and the actual Met’ office is now in New Delhi.

Accuweather it is not – more like InAccuWeather.

The site’s url is posted below for today’s WA14 / Altrincham / Greater Manchester area weather : Currently sunny – with sun / light cloud throughout the day.

It’s been pissing down – classical ‘raining cats and dogs’ fashion – since dawn – and still is – with skies blacker than a kaffir’s arse!

So much for the scheduled charity garden party and barbeque.


RE: Forecast Accuracy Feedback‏

From: AccuWeather Customer Service (
You may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as junk
Sent: 22 September 2009 10:45:11
To: ‘Rusty’

Dear Rusty,

We have received your email. Thank you for your updated information on the weather conditions in your WA14-1JT locale being wholly at conflict with our forecast – ie: Sunshine vs Heavy Rains.

This phenomena actually falls under ‘force majeure’ or an ‘Act of God’ so we at AccuWeather are not responsible if our forecast is over-ridden by Heavenly dictates.

For your reference, your email has been recorded and tracked on reference #527910 as forwarded to our Customer Complaints team at the Primate House section of the New Delhi Zoo.

Your email will be reviewed and we will respond based upon your specific inquiry – weather permitting.

If immediate emergency rescue assistance is needed – such as due severe flooding or blizzard conditions snowfall, please contact our Customer Assistance Center at (814) 235-8650 – between the hours of 09:30 and 09:45 am and leave a message when you hear the tone.

For your information, all of the’s forecasts (including the 15-day and Hour-by-Hour) are updated each week or so. If the conditions have not altered significantly for your locale – such as a typhoon making landfall – the forecast may not appear to change. Most of our maps are updated four times per month – or thereabouts – depending on staff being interested or simply can’t be arsed.

* Due to the high volume of emails we receive, cannot guarantee a personal response.

However, please be assured that your email has been received somewhere in our shambolic system and forwarded to the appropriate department – who are trained to deal with such annoying e-mails and complaints concerning the shithouse accuracy of our forecasts – by either shredding or tossing them into the nearest trashcan.

Please be advised and reminded that is a ‘free’ forecasting service so what the fuck do you really expect for nothing – Utopia with a rainbow on the horizon?

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via

1 thought on “AccuWeather Forecast for Today – Sunshine – Que?‏

  1. If yer weather blather is free, then we get the f**k what we paid for…….so now, F * * K
    O F F the airways, and go predickt when yer next s**t will take place in space, got it?????

    (Edited for language.)

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