Auston, TX (GlossyNews) — A group of middle-aged white liberals in Austin, Texas has vowed to never laugh at anything again. Group spokesman, Broice Kafoudlink, or as he is known in the organization, King Fuddy Duddy, declared at a recent “No Laugh, No Way” meeting that, “It’s about time people stopped laughing.
Us Liberals are supposed to get upset at every slight, no matter how small or perceived, to the planet or the human race and right now there are plenty of slights going on. We have made a collective vow to stop laughing, period.”
When asked what the tipping point was that created this mass-no laugh-hysteria, Mr. Kafoudlink said, “Actually, we have been upset for some time, but when we see people having a good time while leaving a big carbon footprint on the rest of us, and we get closer to death and our insignificance begins looming in the distance, well, some folks just can’t take it anymore and have chosen to disengage. Now, excuse me, while I go sit over there.”
While the “No Laugh, No Way” organization has found surprising success gathering new members with its no laughing philosophy, especially in a world that for all intents and purposes is as depressing as it can possibly be, a splinter group that calls itself, “Give me Hilarity or Give me Death” has formed and is slowly converting a sizeable number of members of the rival group.