Tiger Woods just announced that he is pulling out of the golf season early, citing injuries received in his recent fender bender. He won’t be attending his own Chevron World Challenge Tournament in California.

Sources close to Tiger state that no, it’s not marital woes, it’s not the fact that he doesn’t want to play publicity any more for a while, and it isn’t because women are coming out of the woodwork to hitch a ride on the Tiger-mobile. Said one spokesperson, “What it really boils down to is Tiger’s distaste for long sleeves.” Evidently, with the ensuing cold weather ahead even in California, Tiger just feels too constrained to wear anything other than short sleeves while golfing and is therefore willing to risk a bit of his future earnings to wait until spring, when he can again, play the game in nothing more than a pair of shorts and a polo.

Whew, that’s a relief. We thought it was something way more serious.