Real Reason Tiger Woods is Ending Golf Season Early

Tiger Woods just announced that he is pulling out of the golf season early, citing injuries received in his recent fender bender. He won’t be attending his own Chevron World Challenge Tournament in California.

Sources close to Tiger state that no, it’s not marital woes, it’s not the fact that he doesn’t want to play publicity any more for a while, and it isn’t because women are coming out of the woodwork to hitch a ride on the Tiger-mobile. Said one spokesperson, “What it really boils down to is Tiger’s distaste for long sleeves.” Evidently, with the ensuing cold weather ahead even in California, Tiger just feels too constrained to wear anything other than short sleeves while golfing and is therefore willing to risk a bit of his future earnings to wait until spring, when he can again, play the game in nothing more than a pair of shorts and a polo.

Whew, that’s a relief. We thought it was something way more serious.

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.

1 thought on “Real Reason Tiger Woods is Ending Golf Season Early

  1. Still trying to figure out why they waited so long to give him a ticket. If it had been one of us how long do you think we would have had to talk to the police? Just because he plays golf and is a “role” model, why does that make him above the law?

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