“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Is there too much sex on TV? (Part 1)

Announcer: Fictional TV shows are often criticized for having too much sex on them. Dick and Janey, talks show hosts of “Yucky World”, will be discussing this issue with network programmer Seymour Dooless.

Janey: Our topic for today asks the question “Is there too much sex on TV?” This program may not be appropriate for children. Parental discretion is advised.

Dick: Has it gone that far?

Janey: Has what gone where?

Dick: You know…

Janey: Speak up, Dick!

Dick: Sex…

Janey: Yes?

Dick: …on television.

Janey: That depends on what you mean by “how far”?

Dick: Sounds like a question from my last date.

Janey: You’re dating?

Dick: Well, it was actually a blind date.

Janey: And?

Dick: She asked me how far I wanted to go.

Janey: And you said…

Dick: That I didn’t want to leave the county.

Janey: Oh-kay, Dick. Mr. Dooless, is there more sex on TV?

Dooless: Yes, but we think that’s what’s happening in real life, too.

Janey: There was an episode on “How I Met Your Mother” where one of the main characters achieved his goal of a “perfect week” by having sex with seven different women. Do you think that’s real life?

As a teen in the late 80s, this was about as hot as it got on television.
As a teen in the late 80s, this was about as hot as it got on television.

Dooless: Well, you know, TV characters aren’t your average people.

Janey: But they’re watched by average people.

Dick: And their kids.

Janey: Who may not see the real life consequences of all this sexual activity.

Dick: A Rand study found that teens who watched racy TV shows were much more likely to become pregnant than those who didn’t watch those shows.

Dooless: Fictional television stories aren’t real. We’re not responsible for what happens in real life.

Janey: You may have just said the key words, Mr. Dooless.

Dooless: Really? What were they?

Janey: “Not responsible”.

Dick: How about influential? Do you see TV shows as influencing people’s lives?

Dooless: We provide entertainment for people.

Janey: You will admit that sponsors buy advertising time to try to influence the audience to buy their products.

Dooless: Sure, but that’s different. Products advertised on TV are real. Therefore, they can be influential and have real life consequences.

Janey: But fictional TV shows are…

Dooless: Unreal!

Janey: I think we’d better break for a commercial. This whole conversation is beginning to seem awfully unreal.

Dick: That’s what my blind date said about me.

Janey: That you were unreal?

Dick: Right! And my mother even agreed with her.

Janey: Your mother?

Dick: Yeah. She was in the backseat with a map of the county.

Oh yeah, that's the stuff. She's distorted as hell and probably looks like that in real life, but this sad travesty was the reality kids had to work with before the internet made adult themes ubiquitous and effortless to find.
Oh yeah, that’s the stuff. She’s distorted as hell and probably looks like that in real life, but this sad travesty was the reality kids had to work with before the internet made adult themes ubiquitous and effortless to find.
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One comment on ““Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Is there too much sex on TV? (Part 1)

  1. It just makes me sick when people go all Puritanical about sex on television. Get your minds out of the gutter! There is nothing wrong with sex, especially on TV. In fact, back in the old days before these wimpy flat screens there was a lot MORE sex happening on TVs. If you had a big Magnavox, you could really go to town without fear of breaking it, but I digress.

    What we need is actually MORE sex on TV. Forget the simulated hand-jobs on “Defiance” or all that Zombie sex going on in “Walking Dead”. I mean good old fashioned, down and dirty SEX! Bring me more!

    Except no same sex stuff. That creeps me out. OK if it’s two women, but if it’s guys, they should just rent a room and stay the hell out of my viewing time.

    Or fat chicks. Mike and Molly should never have sex. Or even talk about it. Hell, Mike hasn’t seen his junk since grade school, why do I want to see it now? That creeps me out.

    Or old people. Who wants to see old people have sex? Not me. Keep your damned clothes on, Grandma. Just drop off the milk and cookies and get the hell out of my room. Old people naked is creepy.

    Or people of color. They make me feel inadequate and I don’t like to made to feel that way. Not that I have anything to be ashamed of, not with this manly physique. But if you insist on hammering me over the head with your nightstick, I may as well keep my pants on during “Two Broke Girls”.

    Or people with perfectly chiseled bodies, unless it a chick with fake boobs. More boobs the better! But chicks with perfectly muscled bodies should NOT have sex on TV. Creeeeeeeepy!

    Or Mimes. Mime sex is just the weirdest I’ve ever seen. You just got IN the damn invisible box, man, why can’t you get out of it again? Mime women must be frustrated with that crap.

    Or nerds. The mere suggestion that nerds have sex makes me sick to my stomach. Keep that trash off TV.

    There are a few dozen other groups of people who should never have sex on TV. And you know who you are. As for the rest of ya’ll, drop the clothes and make a show of it. Sex on TV might not beat sex on the washing machine, but it sure as hell beats having to use your credit card for internet porn.

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