NEW YORK, NEW YORK — GlossyNews: Born June 24, 1952 to German cartoonist parent R. Beuthien, Barbara Millicent Roberts, then known affectionately as Lilli, was post-war, sassy and ambitious and had no reservations talking about sex.
In 1959 Lilli, now a confirmed child protegé, emigrated to the US at the invitation of the Mattel Corporation in New York City where she would soon become the feminine figurehead for the company.
They re-christened her Barbie and dropped Lilli at customs. Her new world job? According to Mattel’s public relations spokeswoman, “Barbie will show the country and the world that a woman can do any job she sets her mind to do.”
The spokeswoman read from a page, “From the tender age of 3, Barbie seemed to be at least 15-18, and sometimes 20 years older, commanding a rather large vocabulary of words that she used in getting any number of jobs.”
Most of these jobs were mysteriously awarded to her without any evidence of educational effort on her part. While she claims Manhattan International High School as her alma mater, noted in several memoirs published by Random House in the ’60s about her life as a feminine figurehead for a major US corporation, there is no indication of her attending any college or university.
She did run for US President twice in 1992 and in 2000, but she seems to have lost both races for unknown reasons. Some say it was her book on dieting which appeared around that time. One of her quoted answers to the question “How do I begin my diet?” Got the quick Barbie response — “Stop eating.”
Besides the typical low-ed jobs of fashion model, waitress, secretary and flight attendant; Barbie has held more difficult medical positions for a high school graduate: nurse, doctor, dentist, Army medic, and both airline pilot & astronaut.
After her stellar careers as celebrity figure skater and rap artist, Barbie embarked on a short engagement, some say it was more of a single appearance, as Ambassador for World Peace. After a wildly successful turn in the world spotlight, she applied herself to a more promising dual career as paleontologist/aerobics instructor, where she caused quite a dig, if you will pardon the pun, with her revealing DVD and Home Shopping Network series called Aerobic Dinosaur Dancing. She sold an amazing 560,000 DVDs in three nights on the network.
Barbie has won 2 NASCAR races, acted in animated films, appeared in both The Munsters and Star Trek, and has traveled to an amazing 150 countries where she has learned to say “Hello, I am Barbie, have you seen Ken?” in over 200 languages and dialects.
Her two presidential candidacies brought hope to the feminist community world-wide that it was almost possible to be mistress of the universe.
She’s now on course to prove again that a woman can do any job she sets her mind to do. Barbie celebrates her 59th birthday in March of 2011 by becoming the latest woman wonder — News Anchor Barbie — and working for the Hearst TV Network. She replaces Helen Thomas who resigned her lifetime position at the network several months ago under a cloud of, what some have referred to as, simply old age.
Dressed in a power-pink and black ensemble, equipped with a microphone and camera, she depicts true media power only in the way an 11.5″ person is able — the playscale way.
As the top feminine role model, Barbie knows that women and girls of all ages will attempt to emulate what she does. She knows this because her corporate mentor, Mattel, has shown through the years that what ever career she chooses, it never fails that more and more women want to become the next Barbie.
Today more women are doctors, ambassadors, dentists, pilots, and even astronauts than ever before in world history. But not one of these women ever wishes to be a Bratz.
Mattel is hard at work making sure of that.
and your own head is …?
I am getting a little burst of Ken here and there in your comments, I must admit.
Some of the women I play with have thick plastic heads too now that I think of it.
Alice and I go way back, freed.
May I ask what size are you these days? Barbie is still her original 11.5″ self.
To the moon, Bob, to the moon!
Keep it up! You’ll be joining Alice Kramden there!
And all the Barbie dolls I play with have thick plastic heads.
Can I buy some clothes from you?
Pat, I’ve been testing a new government program, “Work For a Living”. Professes to be able to keep me out of trouble, but I am not sure that is true. So, I will continue to test.
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freed, I must say in my own defense, it isn’t that difficult to do sometimes.
GO AHEAD BOB, MAKE ME LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!!!!
Nice to hear from you BobZ. Where you been hiding?
Hi freed,
I made Barbie clothes for my little sister to play with long ago. I know that there is nothing in the head of the doll, as it is hollow. So the “women with plastic for brains” issue is bogus. Now if you want to make a case for “air head” then I have no bone to pick.
Bargis, those red shoes were a gift from the Pope to Helen because she resembled a man/woman who could be the stunt double for His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI.
Ya gotta admit…Helen Thomas was one homely white woman! Whenever I saw her at the White House briefings, a thought always came to my mind, I wondered if she was still wearing those same red shoes she had on when the farm house hit her.
I had no idea that she was that talented. You forget to mention that whe also represents a little known handicapped segment- women with plastic for brains. You have to admit she got a long ways with this defect.