LONDON- A French tabloid is under scrutiny for publishing pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge topless. While Americans and the rest of the world fell in love with Kate when she was getting married, the recent photos have swayed public opinion.
“I mean, she’s pretty and all, but now I know the top of that wedding dress was definitely stuffed. I’m not sure if I can trust a divine sovereign who stuffs her bra,” says a British man walking the streets of London.
Right: Image appears courtesy of Heather Gillam. Click to enlarge.
Most opinions on the exposed pictures of Kate have been lack luster at best.
“This is even more disappointing than those leaked Scarlett Johansson photos,” explains TMZ editor Hervey Levin.
“There was just nothing to them. Princess Dianna? We would have payed top dollar to see those cans, god rest her soul. Kate’s breasts leave something to be desired. I mean, they aren’t bad, but they aren’t that great either.”
Disappointed fans of the royal family encapsulate the sentiments shared by so many with blog posts like “I never thought I would rather see armature porn over Kate’s bust,” and “With all of that money, one is still bigger than the other?”
The royal family has planned to sue the tabloid for publishing the photos, but experts say the case will not make it very far.
“Who wants to talk about those unimpressive sweater puppets?” asks Dan Abrams, legal analyst for ABC News.
“There’s no way you could get a room full of people to care enough about those things to reach a proper verdict.”
Kate Middleton declined to comment, but her PR advisor issued a press release stating “Kate’s breasts are perfectly fine and beautiful. There is no reason why she shouldn’t be compensated for the devastating breech of privacy.”
Google search trends indicate that this is the lowest searched celebrity nudity scandal, and the average time users spend looking at the photos in no more than 5 seconds.
The photos have garnered a very low volume of hits on infamous celebrity pornography sites, averaging two and a half stars out of five on many rating scales.
Image attribution:
© Nick Warner / , via Wikimedia Commons
I’ve seen the unruined version — sorry yours is ruined — and it really is meh. She was so promising too.
Guess I wont date her after all.
You know how they say never meet your heroes… it’s kinda like that.