Sunrise was still a few hours away and the sailing ship Conquest still had a bevy of topless and semi-nude young beauties aboard, though smartly covered up now against the cooling breeze blowing across Miami’s Biscayne Bay. The owner/captain Fernando Monte Verde took a few minutes to talk with Glossy News about living life as ‘The World’s Most Interesting Man.’
Fernando Monte Verde walked into the wooden paneled dining room dressed in a pair of white pants, a navy blue blazer, deck shoes, less socks, and a crisply starched captain’s hat. A deep tan partially hidden by a gray-flecked beard and a powerful blue-eyed gaze held everyone in suspense as he quietly took his place at the head of the table.
The man, who many say has expensive cologne flowing through his veins instead of the blood of a mere mortal, poured himself a drink and began the conversation.
“I never dreamed I would have this lifestyle. The women. The money. The travel, and of course, the great sex. It still seems like a dream to me.”
Without saying anything further, he lifted the crystal glass to his tanned face. His real age is unknown but smiles at the question of sixty-something. Women in particular find his eyes youthful and his face adventurous. His appeal is universal and women of all ages feel drawn to him like a magnet.
Two years ago Monte Verde was awarded the title of the The World’s Most Interesting Man’ by a popular Mexican beer company. Along with the title he received a brand new 100 foot sailing yacht, $135 million dollars in cash and gold, and as part of the prize, will receive a complete Italian-made wardrobe every year for the rest of his life. In a recent article, he claims the hiring of his all girl crew was the best part of the whole experience. The completion of his crew was accomplished a few months ago prior to leaving on his worldwide quest to find the most beautiful and most gullible women on the planet.
Fernando carefully rolled a Cuban Cohiba cigar between two fingers before lighting it in a maze of aromatic bluish smoke. He thought a moment and went on….
“Ahh yes… Hiring these women. Last Christmas I was here at the dinner table listening intently to my guest’s small talk about Italian style and the classics stories of Russian literature. Suddenly, it was like a pleasant chord was hit within me and I knew that having a total female crew would allow me passages into the, well should I say, the more difficult ports on the world? It was then I immediately hired Portugal-2001, which, by the way, I later told her I named my ship The Conquest after her, but that was pure bullshit…I really named it after Angelina, because she claimed I was better than Brad! Imagine that. A man so much younger than me too! ”
All of Monte Verde’s topless female crew is named after their country of origin and the year they appeared in a men’s fantasy magazine. Proper names are never used. On cue, Sweden 1991 brought over a tray with drinks and smiled at us both with dazzling white teeth. Her ample and always bare breasts barely brushing the open bottle of port as she bent to place the tray on the low table.
Fernando closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with big, meaty hands. He took a deep breath and continued, “Anyway about Portugal-2001. I took one look and decided right then and there that that’s where I wanted to drop my anchor that night. She was a textbook screamer too. The Coast Guard boys heard her way over at the New Port base and sent a cutter over to investigate. I just gave the boys a few Cohibas and Italy-1986 for a few hours to calm ‘em down.”
Fernando poured another glass of port with his gold encrusted fingers. Then he pulled up a magazine from the tray with an article circled in red pen. The Canary Islands were highlighted. The article mentioned an international beauty contest being held there next month.
With a raised eyebrow and wide smile, Fernando mentioned it as the Conquest’s next destination…Once again, living up to the title of …..The World’s Most Interesting Man!
Editor’s Note: We did not receive complimentary Dos Equis for this story, though we’re certainly open to it in retrospect.
So does he know where Assage is?