WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Chairman Steele invited Republicans to “Get on the Bus” on Friday. The RNC Chairman Michael Steele has, with his Fire Nancy Pelosi Bus Tour, removed the House Speaker from under the bus to sitting inside his bus, albeit in the back seat, but it is a nicely tricked out back seat.
It was announced by Steele that the real FNP 6-week tour would commence this week, and he promised that Speaker Nancy would be on board for at least some parts of the tour.
Steele is single-handedly taking to the road and is urging fellow GOP members to Get on the Bus, which is the new GOP slogan for the election in November. Republicans along the tour route are encouraged to GOTB and ride with Nancy as far as they want to go — at $5k per mile -– minimum 5 miles per person.
The GOP chairman said that “Nancy Pelosi will definitely be in the back of the bus. She has agreed to ride with us for parts of the tour. It will be the most bi-partisan bus ride in the country, and in the interests of bi-partisanship, we are letting her ride for free.” He continued, “It’s time to stop messing around. The GOP needs to GOTB,” he added.
“The official GOTB tour will begin in Kansas Tuesday and will criss-cross the nation until the day of the election,” he explained. “Speaker Pelosi will join the tour in San Francisco later in September and promises to ride at least to LA. We may even be able to get her to go to Vegas as we swing across the desert and towards Arizona, making appearances with us in Arizona as we help fight on John McCain’s home battleground,” Steele said, pointing to a map of the tour on a power point slide.
“Nancy told me that she has decided that this for-sure GOP election victory is going to happen and she wants to be at the forefront of the action by bringing up the rear. What better support can we expect from the Democrat party than that?” he asked. “You can, each and every one of you, GOTB with Nancy.”
“After all, who doesn’t want a free ride?” he continued to query. “I know that I would take it if it was offered to me, and I am going to be on that bus, riding free too!”
“As far as who else will be riding in the other 40 seats, we have a list of 20 for sure who have purchased portions of the tour’s 10,000 mile distance,” he revealed. “We want to have plenty of seats for the 5-Milers. That’s our lowest class, I mean, category of riders. Then we have the 10-Milers, the 20-Milers, the 50-Milers, the 75-Milers, and the 100-Milers. Each group of riders will get a chance to photo-op with Speaker Pelosi and share her views,” he said.
“We also have the High-Miler Club level for those who are serious about funding major portions of the tour. They are entitled to more than sharing the Speaker’s views. They will get overnight privileges as well. This is only a 60 day tour, so the opportunities are very limited here. Get your reservations in quickly, as they will surely be at a premium. What’s the price of that ticket, well, if you have to ask, then . . . let’s just say that the Speaker is prepared to be overly generous with her time while on the bus, so we expect that you will not begrudge the GOP the few extra mil.”
“For those of you who are wondering, the bus will have its own WiFi and access is a reasonable $25 per hour charge. All of this is tax deductable, you know.” He added, “You can even set up your own exclusive #GOTB Twitter account and banter back and forth with Sarah Palin #SP2012. She won’t be on this actual bus, but she has agreed to sit on a bus in her back yard for the months of September and October. There she will be supervising the proof-reading of her new book and rehearsing for her TV reality show about Alaska. But she is hoping to make a record number of GOTB Tweets during this time. Possibly breaking her previous record during the tragic 2008 vice presidential run. That was a longer period of time, but we’ve been in touch with Twitter and they’ve said that they will help her out.” Steele ended by saying, “Let’s all GOTB.”