If you look at enough different newspapers enough different times you find things can be quite similar.
The rags always seem to be re-circulating the same type of newsworthy cadavers again and again.
The names and the places change, but the content is cloned.
It gets to the point where you can pretty much predict what the ‘new’ news will be about before it even becomes happens.
In fact, one might as well make up his own news- it won’t be that different from the real event! It never stopped our new Glorious Leader!
Here are some templates for making your own ‘hot off the press’ news features!
Just fill in the blanks like you would a crossword puzzle:
Donald Trump Tweeted His Disdain Over _________And What He/She/They Did To _________ Him.
Photos Of Obama Having a Great Time ________ing On Vacation In __________ With ________.
Sexy Actress _______ Flashes Her ________ In A Revealing _________. Photos On Page ________.
Ex President _______ Says “Trump Is An Incredible ________.” Trump Says That _______ Is An Even Bigger ___________.
10 Year Old Transgender ________ Wants To Be Allowed To ________ Where ___ Wants to.
DJ Trump States That ______ Is A Second Rate _______ And No One Should Pay Attention To _____.
_________Says The Same For Trump.
An Extreme Right Wing _____ In _________ Mississippi Chanted That All ________ Should Be Shipped Back To ________.
Thousands Rally To Protest _________ Cuts To Their __________. State Sends In _______ To _____Order.
A White Policeman Was Accused Of _______ A ___________ While ________.
White Policeman Acquitted For _______ A ________.
New Wonder ________ Promises To ________ In Only 10 Days.
At A Republican Meeting In ___________ ____________Demanded That All _________ Should Be Incarcerated Or Thrown Out Of Country For ___________.
Republicans Ejected ________ From a Meeting Over _________ For Expressing ________. ____ Demands An __________ And An Apology.
Students In _____ Riot Over ________. Windows Smashed And _______ Overturned.
Teacher Found To Be Having Improper _______ With A __________. _____ year old says it was “________ love.”
Giant Corporation __________ Takes Over Smaller Company _______ In Hostile Bid. Moves Operations To ________ And Lays Off _________ Employees.
Athlete _________ Violently __________ Girlfriend With A ________. Not Arrested, But Gets A _________.
Russian Dissident In _______ Falls Into Mysterious Coma. ______. Suspicious ______ Found In His _______.
President Select Trump Tweets _______ About _______ Doing _______. (Repeat this daily using different names and incidents).
The President for Life Of ________ Declares America To Be A Degenerate ________ That Should Be _________ Into The Ground For ________.
Islamic Terrorists In ________ Killed ______ People In A Predawn _______ Using A ______ As A ________.
Donald Trump’s Cabinet Secretary ________ Caught Sharing Secret Information With _______. _____ Demands An __________.
North Korea Dictator Kim Jong Un Threatened To ________ ________ Over Allegations Of ________