A young, aimless writer. A format no one cared about. The words everyone has to look up in an online dictionary. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be an unknown poet, this is the poem you need to ignore. Critics are raving about the new prose poem that everyone is calling the most boring event of the year.
“Brilliantly confusing….” —Noseweek
“Sure to be a classic no one will ever read….” —Timeforanother Magazine
“Smart and funny, to select audiences everywhere….” —Poets and Pointless Magazine Writers
“One of the best and only prose poems of the year….” —USA Tomorrow
“Guaranteed to be nominated for a prize no one has ever heard of….” —Atlantic Bicentennial
“You’ll laugh because you won’t get the obscure allusions….” —New Snarkier
“You won’t want to miss this opportunity to be bored out of your mind….” —The BS Times
“This is the prose poem you haven’t been waiting for….” —Undermining Post
We’re not anyone.
That’s the problem.
That’s why we have time to write these hackneyed letters.
Wow, I actually didn’t realize anyone had read this. Kudos for not falling asleep at your keyboard.
“You’ll laugh because you won’t get the obscure allusions….”
Personally, I’d be happy to get reviews like that. That means somebody actually read it.
Nice job.
Its not nice to write about me like that.
But it means that at least one person has read my stuff.