Pale Rock, Arkansas – Following a fishing trip to the serene estuaries between the Ozark and Ouachita Mountains where Oprah Winfrey manhandled some extremely large fish, the popular talk show host has released a new book detailing her experience. “It really was an amazing experience,” Oprah stated during a recent show in which she cleaned and gutted a 230 pound Mike Trout that she caught during her trip. “I’m not a huge fan of touching the guts, but this particular fish had much smaller balls, so it wasn’t an issue,” Winfrey added.
The book How To Cook and Clean a Mike Trout has been selling like warm, buttery breadsticks as the popular e-commerce site, Amazon.com, sold out of 13,454 physical copies in a matter of seconds, not counting the additional copies that have been purchased and downloaded to e-reader devices.
“In this economy, more and more people are learning to cook and clean fish on their own to save money,” said Swedish Fish Analyst, Heinrich T. Heimichschlopper, who has recently been studying the correlation between the human population’s desire to fish more frequently and the lag in sales of the candy known as “Swedish Fish.”
“In Ancient Egyptian texts, the name Oprah literally translates to one who consumes large fish quantities. This may not seem like a big deal, but until this year, Oprah Winfrey was the world’s leading Swedish Fish eater, an honor that she has achieved for the last 25 years. However, since her book was released, Swedish Fish sales have plummeted and similar to the recent extinction that the Olive Garden restaurant chain endured, I fear for the well-being of Swedish Fish everywhere!” a very concerned Heimichschlopper added.
As a result of the book’s popularity, Oprah continues to put words onto pages and plans to release another bestseller, Making Sandwiches without O.J. Mayo, later this year.
Seriously I didn’t even make the all star game this year
So tired of hearing about Mike Trout. Go Oprah!