Citing disagreements with producers over his designated point of death in the runtime, a token black guy has left his latest film production.
Reports suggest Marlon Tyrone broke with the production crew of “Attack of the Libertarian Zombies” after getting word that his death would occur 59 minutes into the movie, a far cry from his contract’s specified 61 minute minimum.
Outside the studio, Tyrone told fans “This is the only reasonable reaction to being severely disrespected with an inhumane, expedited death. Being a token black guy is unique, and I refuse to see the dignity of the position vandalized by cheap filmmakers.
Executives at Tyrone’s studio did concede their decision violated his contract, but Supreme President Harvey Winestain argued the film’s total running time of 62 minutes made it acceptable. “Audiences are less patient these days; you fail to throw them the final conclusion with plenty of gore and they’ll back out of a second viewing. Since we are competing with James Cameron, that just isn’t okay.”
The conflict has drawn parallels to Herman Cain’s experience back in the early nineties, when he was denied a death late in the movie “Mark Block Here” due to budgetary constraints.
In an interview with Diers Porgan of Central Central News, Cain described relived his response to the slighting, saying “I went to the telephone, dialed my agent, and whispered 9-9-9.”