Yoko Ono Finally Admits: I Broke Up ‘The Beatles’

The Dakota, CPW, NY, NY (GlossyNews) — Rumor has it that Yoko Ono has finally admitted that yes, she may have helped break up the Fab Four. “I was young, jealous, and Asian – you do the math,“ she supposedly has told a confidential source.

The source went on to say Ono admitted she finally realized practically sitting on top of a man while he’s trying to work with his business partners, whispering to him in a low tone that no one else in the room can hear while giving everyone the fisheye is creepy, and some people might think it’s bitchy.

According to the source, Ono confessed, “I tried to get along with the guys, I just wanted to be one of them. My only real suggestion was I thought the term, Koo Koo Kachoo, sounded stupid, and should be replaced with, ya ya hee ya hee iii yee hee hi shi chi eee eee lee hi heeeee. But the claws really came out when Paul said my voice sounded like an old Japanese woman being attacked by a mongoose.”

Ono refused to say if it was her whispering the words, “Paul is Dead,” when the song Revolution 9 is played backwards.

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3 thoughts on “Yoko Ono Finally Admits: I Broke Up ‘The Beatles’

  1. I think most of the late Beatles’ work was marred by ‘Too big for their britches’ syndrome. For 70’s listening, I’d instead suggest the smooth R&B stylings of the great Bill Withers…

    “Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone, mmmm uhm mmm uhm mmm uhm.”

  2. Golly, I was wondering how I was ever going to sleep soundly again, and here you come along and give me the peace I needed. Thanks Assdorf. You’re a saint.

  3. You are extremely retarded. It’s GOO GOO GA JOOB, not koo koo kachoo. Really. Ps this article is one of the most unfunny things I’ve read on the internet, and that is saying a lot.

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