NASA is growing irritated at incomplete missions fouled by meddling do-gooder aliens returning humans to earth prematurely in the name of stellar safety.

Alien abductions have been fabled for centuries with festive highlights ranging from anal probing to impregnation, with very little in between. Alien adductions, conversely, have been documented with increasing frequency. This is the incident of extra-terrestrials snapping up humans, and bringing them back to earth, rather than taking them away. Read more Alien Adductions Reach Epidemic Proportions ›