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Porn Sites Demand Domain Expansion
For years you could type in pretty much anything with a dot com at the end and safely find some ball gobbling circus midgets or a woman sharing her most intimate moments with five to five hundred men. Now, no thanks to growing internet popularity, there are many non-pornographic sites in the mix, mostly there to distract people from nudity.
"We just want our audience to find us," explains Scary Ed from Nude Bitches Entertainment. "Too many people trying to find fetish porn end up at tattoo sites and stay there for too long. They should have easy access to nipple clamps and spanking. When Al Gore invented this internet, he never envisioned people researching school assignments or buying auction items. It was all about the booty, baby. Even then."
The push for domain expansion in recent years has added to such dot suffixes as .info, .biz, .kids and the deregulated use of international domains such as .cc and .dk. Unfortunately, no nation is yet powerful enough to become the web overlord of pornography, and remarkably, some countries claim they would not lobby for that title. Simply put, the industry needs it's own domain(s).
The suit failed to draw attention to the ease of applying parental blocks to sites ending in a specified domain, as well as the convenience that would be felt by many non-porn viewing web surfers. When questioned on this, the representatives we spoke to honestly had no idea what we were talking about.
Industry attorneys at a court hearing pushed for .cum, .orgy and .suck, though they believe Scandinavia already took the latter. It is believed that, if opened up, porn sites like www.cumdumpster69.com could have a more memorable address at www.cumdumpster.cum or www.cumdumpster.orgy. The trial ended in a well hung jury, but they plan to file suit again for this much needed change.
10 Million Shopping Lists Discovered
Turkey Day Shopping lists revealed
Be sure not to miss this Glossy News exclusive segment. After the Thanksgiving holiday was over, our reporters scoured tens of thousands of stores to pick up shopping lists left in carts and baskets, and we have assembled them with painstaking accuracy, for you, our trusty readers.
This is not for the faint of heart. You may be shocked to see what crazy things your friends and neighbors put on their holiday shopping lists. See, Why on Earth are you buying that?, E1
British MP's to Tax Threesomes
Bush "Moron" Secret Out There
An offhand comment by a top aide to Canada's prime minister, quoted as referring to U.S. President George W. Bush as "a moron," may have a lasting effect on relations between Ottawa and Washington. See, Now who's the moron? a14
Time for another new and nutty word scramble with Dyslexic Dan! See Komix 4 Kids, E7
Jerkaholics Anonymous Meeting Postponed
The local chapter will hold their monthly meeting on Tuesday, December 10, instead of the previous Thursday due to a last minute change in this week's TV Guide, (Playboy Channel weekend long porno marathon) See, I'll ask again, who is your daddy?
Iraqi No-Fly Zone Swarming with Flies
Eggheads at the Royal Society for Keeping Boffins off the Street have made a shock discovery – large-breasted women can’t act! See, Ya don't say, C12.
In order for Glossy News to get you the freshest headlines we print first and ask questions later, or typically not at all. We take full responsibility for retractions and prominently display the truth right up front. See My Bad, ZZ196
Letters to the Editor
Feedback from the headlines to the front lines. See Okay, Cool, Whatever, E8
Kill popups now and forever for free. Simple Download (not a sponsored link, just a good choice.)