Despite the effort put in by American and British forces, the Iraqi 'no fly' zone appears to be an utter failure.

After eons of coping with flies of all varieties, Iraqi's in the north and south, welcomed the US led no fly zone when it was imposed. "We thought it meant real change," said a spokesperson for Iraqi Sanitary Services. However, sadly, a 'no fly zone' has not meant much.

Scrounging through dump sites, picking up people's garbage on garbage day, trying to have a picnic in a park - all of these feature thousands upon thousands of flies. Black flies, horse flies, Tse Tse flies - flies of all kinds.

"It's all very annoying," said a Saddam Hussein look-alike. "We didn't protest the 'no fly zone' very much because we wanted to rid ourselves of the annoyance once and for all. We really thought a 'no fly zone' would work."

Experts think the Brits and Yankees should hang their heads in shame over their abject failure to rid Iraq of flies. Children and pets can barely go outside for any length of time without being swarmed. Prostitutes have taken to wearing thick Kevlar veils to keep from being eaten alive or carried off by clouds of flies. Street merchants now say, with every sale, "You want flies with that?"

Looking to the UN for aid is not likely to be effective either. Sure, UN inspectors are running all over the country, but they don't have any equipment or chemicals to attack the problem. "They're just looking for weapons of mass destruction while the Iraqi people are being destroyed by an invasion of flies," said an unnamed fly expert. "We hope they actually find some weapons of mass destruction so that we can then use them to battle all these flies."

An ever hopeful Iraqi people continue their vigilant, but losing battle against the hordes of flies that have beset their country. Designating areas as 'no fly' zones just hasn't worked. More drastic means are necessary if a dent is to be made in the fly population. Meanwhile, a beleaguered Iraqi people await a real solution.