Tonopah, NV Reuters — Humor news media titan Glossy News has won the Pulitzer in this year’s newly added “Best exploitation of a disaster” category. The committee cited GNN’s round the clock coverage from earthquake ravaged Hawaii. Media watchers were generally positive on the announcement, while acknowledging the race was always ‘too close to call.’
Washington Post’s Howard Kurtz said, “Exploiting disasters for higher ratings, well it’s our bread & butter, right? Privately I thought Geraldo had the edge for his Tiger Woods coverage. I mean, Geraldo is a disaster all by himself, so there was always chance for a double win. But there’s always next year.”
All agreed the devastating earthquake hitting the tiny Caribbean island was the best disaster since Hurricane Katrina, and nobody should expect opportunity like that every year. The always gracious Geraldo Rivera was quick to congratulate Glossy News. “That bunch, really dedicated journalists. Sure, ‘somebody’ called in a bomb threat on my plane and I was late to the story, but in no way does that detract from Glossy News. They’re sharp reporters. They should look into ‘whoever’ made that bomb threat. Bet they’d get to the bottom of it really quick, that’s all I’m saying.”
The reclusive, mysterious Glossy News chief Brian K. White was characteristically humble on receiving the award announcement. Speaking from a secure, undisclosed location he told reporters, “It’s not about me; there’s no ‘I’ in team. I accept this award on behalf of our reporters, who were on the ground in Hawaii long before aid workers arrived. I’d also like to thank the brave Hawaiian people and their building inspectors; wouldn’t have happened without them. The main thing is, journalism isn’t about awards, it’s about the next big story. That Geraldo plane bomb threat thing, we’re going to get right on that tomorrow.”