Obama No Longer First US Black President

Obama is no longer the first black president as he turned albino white today during his latest CIA briefing.

Apparently the ‘men in black’ have been hiding some of the more disturbing secrets of the nation from the man who should really know them. Now he does and it ain’t apparently purty…

After discovering how things really are beneath the surface in Washington and on the world scene, President Obama turned white right down to his hair, much the same as did Senator McCain when he was held prisoner by the North Vietnamese.

However McCain didn’t turn comatose for four hours with glazed open eyes staring out zombie-like into a void no one else could see when he got captured.

For hours paramedics, psychologists and Secret Service men worked to bring the President out of his shock, all to no avail. The normally in-control, self disciplined Obama could only stare unseeingly into space while jibbering something about secret Chinese embryo implants and a strange substance in our drinking water. Smelling salts and improvised electro-shock did little to help.

Commenting on the development McCain himself stated “They must have shown him some really bad stuff. It was too much of a shock to him. Maybe its good I didn’t get the job.”

Eventually the President came out of it on his own, but not before serious ramifications against him had happened. The Republicans are using the incident as a sign that President Obama is too weak for the job.

They point to the same sort of news being presenting to Republican President Ronald Reagan who merely pooh-poohed it all.

Of course the Repubs are not taking into account that the jelly beans Reagan ate so many of had already helped manifest the Alzheimers in his brain and he couldn’t at that time recognize the difference between a hammer and sickle and a screaming red aardvark.

When pressed for a comment by the press later, President Obama would fall back into a trance stammering “Urggggg!!!!” and once again staring wide-eyed into the far distance. There is talk in higher circles of Washington of secretly sending the President away for a couple weeks for ‘a rest’.

Obama, however, handled it better than his VP Joe Biden did at his briefing. Senator Biden was last seen running down Massachusetts Ave screaming “Roswell was real!!!” and “They’ve taken over” right before he was shot with tranquilizers and dragged into a black limousine with no license plates by men wearing dark glasses.