Paris and Washington have become embroiled in scandal after a set of romantic correspondences between presidents Francois Hollande and Barack Obama were leaked to the press.
The letters detail a passionate, and at times even steamy fusion of love across the Atlantic, the softer moments balanced with lamentations over politics, life, and tapioca pudding.
In a message dating January 17, Hollande writes:
Oui, oui, you devilishly strong black man. Your gun control makes me say oui, although there should be guns between us. But just two.
On January 31, Obama responds:
Franci your balding head and luminous brain are a brilliant testament to progress in this bigot-full, conservative world. Let us run to Haiti, where I shall bathe forever in the unwashed fumes of your arms, each deodorant-free minute like a drop from Heaven.
In Obama’s letter reporters also found a picture of the two world leaders cuddling in the Oval Office, with a caption by America’s leader reading, “You make me want to be a real socialist.”
Reactions to the romantic exchanges have been mixed. Ted Haggard admitted he was troubled after getting news of the relationship, but feels it is something that needs to be accepted. “What really matters is that they are strong, presumably bisexual men,” he said.
Speaking on behalf of the Tea Party, Sarah Palin noted that “Obama’s romance with another socialist president is a direct threat to Israel’s national security. It is time the Republican House votes to remove him from office.”
The White House offered no comment, falling in line with the Élysée Palace response to press inquiries.
Sources say Michelle Obama is furious, however.