In an effort to keep tabs on the rising number of misbehaving male Senators in Washington, the Senate Appropriations Committee has put aside $60,000 to revamp a vacant office in the Senate Building, turning it into a boom-boom room.
The “Fun Pit” is being designed by noted 70’s interior designer, Ernesto Ball, who is best known for his far out designs using vivid colors, shag carpeting and lots and lots of lava lamps.
“Lava lamps set a sexual mood like nothing else can,” says Ball, who admits he hasn’t been this excited about an interior design job since he totally re-vamped Richard and Pat Nixon’s bedroom in Key Biscayne, Florida in the early 70’s.
“Wait’ll the guys get a load of what I have in store for them,” Ball explained as he showed reporters a quick sketch of the ultimate one-stop fun shop. “Over here, we’ll put a well-stocked bar,” he said. “And we’ll have over-sized cushions strewn about so that our wayward Senators can plop just about anywhere they please and still feel completely comfortable in or out of their own skin (wink-wink).”
Ball is also installing a state-of-the-art light and sound system which will enhance the stage for the paid dancers they expect to hire within the next few weeks.
Sen. John A. Dulterio (D-Minn) is chairman of the steering committee in charge of creating the boom-boom room, and says he is honored to head up such an important and long-overdue project.
“This has been coming for a long time, folks,” said Dulterio. “Had we had the boom-boom room in place when Tony Weiner needed it, well, he wouldn’t have had to take those pictures in a sweaty old gym. He would have had a real swinging place to showcase the body he has obviously spent years to perfect. And,” he added, “Tony wouldn’t have had to look online for girls to ogle him. He’d have had his needs met right here at the Senate.”
Dulterio says the boom-boom room should be operational in time for the holidays, a highly stressful time for most Senators who find it difficult to have to spend so much time at home with their families. “Our guys deserve a little R and R, away from their jobs and their families. The Fun Pit is just our way of telling them, ‘Hey guys, we get it.’”