It was a sight so disturbing that parents covered children’s eyes as they, themselves, gasped at the horrifying images being played on TV screens across America. It too horrified other members of Congress so severely, that Capitol Police were called and rushed into the Capitol Broadcast Studios with guns drawn.
The sight of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s head suddenly and slowly collapsing around her neck as she spoke was etched into millions of American minds from the full both spectrum of the political world.
“I was watching and all of the sudden she has one eye facing her other one and her nose deflated and dipped into her mouth!” claims a very shaken up Melvin Pack, a House Usher. “It was so bad I puked all over my new vest!”
Another man saw the whole event from close up, ‘I was shooting some home video and I see this little thingy popping out of her scalp and I then heard a loud…… fshhhssst! Next thing I know she looks like the Wicked Witch of the East getting splashed with water!”
Speaker Pelosi was removed from the studio by EMT personnel, who covered her deflated face to protect her from the prying eyes of cameras. But it was too late as the Congressional studio TV camera’s captured the sequence and played it back in slow motion for news hungry audiences.
In the rear ante-chamber, a local tire mechanic from Discount Tire was called and asked to bring an emergency inflation kit to the Capitol Building. Within minutes mechanic Lester Finebottom had a new air valve installed and a full shot of gases pumped back into Speaker Pelosi’s head. Pelosi’s aides issued a statement after the Speaker had her head re-inflated before heading home.
“ Madame Speaker is sorry for the hysteria and concerns she caused by using simple air, but wants to re-assure all concerned that she’s had her head re-inflated with helium in an effort to ‘Go Green’ and at the same time, to allow the buoyant gas to pull a few of those pesky wrinkles from her brow line.”
Later that evening, Hollywood movie director Quentin Tarantino made an offer to various news outlets to purchase the Pelosi tape footage for use in a horror movie he’s shooting in Mexico.