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Obama Fails to Appoint Deist to Supreme Court

   Published Date: May 10, 2010  1 Comment on Obama Fails to Appoint Deist to Supreme Court

Washington DC (GlossyNews) — President Obama, refusing to yield to the demands of Tea Party agitators, has once again failed to appoint a Deist to the Supreme Court.

Obama has announced that he will nominate Elena Kagan to the court, choosing a Jewish woman to preside over the legacy of the white, Deist, Founding Fathers.

John Paul Jones XVI, a local Hartford Conn Tea Party leader and direct descendent of John Paul Jones, the American naval hero, made this remark concerning Kagan:

“When the Founding Fathers set up the Constitution (capital ‘C’), there was certainly never a thought that women would have a position of authority over menfolk. We as Tea Party Patriots (capital ‘P’) want to see the Constitution restored, as a vehicle for the White, Male, Landowning class to run this country properly. Certainly they never envisioned a black man as president, or even as a voter, and certainly no woman, Jewish or Latina, could ever fully comprehend the deep meanings of the Constitution.”

Jones, one of many Tea Party members who would like to see the Constitution restored to its original greatness, would like to bring to a halt not only women representatives, but women voting as well. Jones also supports protecting the Constitution by ignoring the Constitutionally elected president.

Kagan, who has little life experience at 50, one of the youngest nominees ever, also has no experience as a judge. Many complain that she is better qualified to be a clerk in the Supreme Court than a Justice.

Tea Party members throughout the nation want to see Deists represented on the Bench in order to end the continual ‘interpretation’ of the Constitution and return to its strict meaning. Because of this, they feel that only White Male Landowning Deists are able to properly read and enforce the Constitution as originally written.

Tea Party supporters have gone on to say that they no longer have to follow the rulings of the supreme court if it contains women or has members appointed by a black president from Kenya.

Thomas Paine, author of the proto socialist pamphlet Agrarian Justice, was not available for comment, having been dead for 200 years.

Author: Reverend Mike

@rev_rend Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an 'unappreciated field of endeavor'. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists. Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations....

1 thought on “Obama Fails to Appoint Deist to Supreme Court”

  1. Well that is interesting, I consider myself a Deist and consider myself to be a Democratic Socialist who views the Constitution as a living document as Thurgood Marshall did.

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