San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — “I never thought I would pray for somebody to flat-out die,“ said liberal turned Christian, Marty Hayes. “But I’ve been praying hard for this one. I can’t stand to hear Palin’s voice, it sounds like the hounds of hell to me.“
Similar sentiments are coming from millions of Democrats who never thought they’d be seen down on their knees with hands clasped and begging eyes turned upward. A Priest from an Episcopal Church that only one month ago was worried about keeping the lights on, has mixed feeling about the turn of events. “Wow-I’ve never seen anything like this, but I think I can speak for my congregation when I say many of us feel we are on a trail of tears to an eventual packaged presidency like what happened with Bush. As soon as we think we can take a breath, we are beaten with the dumb stick by Sarah Palin and the corporate press. And like the slaves in Egypt, people have nowhere to turn but to cast their eyes skyward and pray. A lot. Maybe we’re waiting for our Moses, I don’t know, but I wish he would hurry.“
In towns all across America, prayer meetings are now held in homes located in the most liberal of neighborhoods. After attending a recent meeting at the home of Dr. Edward Stookey, Professor of English at the University of Texas in Austin, I asked what was going through his mind while he was ensconced in prayer. “Like any good Christian who prays for the demise of someone I hate, I was envisioning that she will be struck dead by the powers that be. But if all this praying doesn’t work and she’s still around in a year, screeching at us, then we have decided to turn to mass suicide instead…stay tuned.“