In what is hailed as a media coup, former 2008 presidential candidate John Edwards has agreed to an exclusive deal with Jerry Springer Productions.
According to Washington insiders, the move is a bold “out of the box” insurgency first step in challenging Barack Obama in 2012. Former McGovern advisor Everest Hauptbottom said, “This could work for Edwards. Voters are sick and tired of maritally faithful leaders. Much of the electorate nowadays came of age in the Clinton era. Not like anybody associates Bill with chastity belts, right?”
Current plans call for Edwards and his family to appear on a special Valentine’s Day episode of the popular Springer show. It’s rumored that Elizabeth Edwards and Rielle Hunter will tear each other’s blouses off and then mud wrestle, but industry experts urge caution.
A spokeswoman for the much respected Society for Television Demographics spoke to reporters today on condition of anonymity. Janice DeFlores (128 Evergreen Cove, Alexandria, VA) said, “While the society takes no official position on John Edwards appearing on the Springer Show, it’s an undeniable fact. Though Mr. Edwards might not pay attention to us, we welcome his bold contribution to the public discourse. I have to take Jarrod to soccer practice now, get out of my yard.”
Springer show insiders, including a security guard who looks like an extra from Shawshank Redemption—and a midget lady pole dancer—told Glossy News to expect surprises. Rumor has it that after cancer stricken Elizabeth Edwards and Rielle Hunter have mud wrestled, someone named Tyrone will arrive to challenge, as that midget lady pole dancer said, “Conventional ideas about how low a former presidential candidate can sink.”