The Faux Tan Man (Captain Orange Strikes Again)

Mr. Tan Man, lend me your ear
Your type of thinking, I find very queer….

Who are the people who have run against John Beohner every two years since he entered Congress in 1990? I really must do a google search on this subject. Given the type of Congressman he is, these people, whomever they are, must have been perfectly horrible candidates. That can be the only possible explanation. The voters of Ohio can’t be that dumb, can they?

It has just been reported that Representative Boehner’s PAC has spent nearly $83,000 – this year alone – on “private” golfing events. This at a time when the unemployment and underemployment numbers in this country are at or over twenty percent. I suppose that would explain Johnny’s perpetual tan. The boy’s been getting a hell of a lot of sunlight lately, rolicking out there on the greens. As George Gershwin once wrote, “Nice work if you can get it.” Very nice indeed.

From POLITICO:

“The Golf events this year sponsored by Boehner’s Freedom Project political action committee have stretched from April until October, from Florida to Ohio. And the minority leader didn’t hold his events at worn out municipal courses. The most recent outing was a $20, 921.34 event at the plush Robert Trent Jones track in Gainesville, Virginia, an invitation-only private club that was once home to the Professional Golfers Association President’s cup.”

According to the filings of the Federal Election Commission, the most expensive event cost the “Freedom Project” a total of $29,501.21. This was held in September at the Muirfield Village Golf Club in Dublin, Ohio, a course designed by Jack Nicklaus. I wonder if they allow blacks and Jews to become members?

“The fact is, this country’s going broke….We’re spending money we don’t have and passing it onto our kids, and at some point somebody’s got to say, ‘Enough is enough'”

John Boehner

QUESTION:
Where was this jackass when the halfwit from Crawford, Texas was spending the United States into a bankruptcy so paralyzing there is no precedent for it in all recorded human history? Where was his outrage when when the Bush Mob plundered the nation’s treasure by making war on a country (Iraq – just in case it slipped your mind) that was a threat to absolutely no one? Is he really serious? That’s the really funny thing – he is.

John Boehner is as crooked as they come. Since the departure of Tom Delay he has become the corrupt politician’s corrupt politician. He is the new face of organized political sleaze. Someday we’ll all realize this. As hard as he may try, he’ll never be able to escape the wrath of history. The fact that he has always been (I’ll be polite) “ethically challenged” should not surprise anyone who’s paid even scant attention to his career these past twenty years.

In June 1995, at a time when Congress was deliberating tobacco subsidies, he was busted handing out checks (bribes – let’s be honest) from the cigarette industry to various members in a naked attempt to influence their votes. This incident occurred in plain view right on the floor of the House of Representatives. Is this a great country or what?

Which brings me to something else – not just about Boehner but politicians in general – and not just the Republicans but most of the Democrats as well. When are they going to end this sick and phony charade of being men and women “of the people”? To be sure, there are too many people all over America who are just stupid enough to believe such nonsense. Sarah Palin’s book is at this moment the nation’s Number One seller. And John Boehner wouldn’t keep getting reelected if there weren’t enough fools in his district who actually believe that he is on their side. But let’s face some serious facts here: working in Washington on behalf of one’s constituency is soooo mid-twentieth century. Why can’t just one of them have the courage to come out and say it:

“Yeah! I’m a fucking whore for corporate America! What the fuck are YOU ASSHOLES gonna do about it???”

Now, that would show some real moxie! A politician who did that would get my nomination for the annual Profiles in Courage prize that is awarded by the Kennedy Library every year. I might even cast my vote for a person with such guts. I’m just a sucker for chutzpa, what can I tell you!

It’s not even as if they are attempting to even hide their corruption any longer. It is overt, out in the open and visible for all to behold – a truly transparent plutocracy. How could they be so arrogant? Why is their corruption so blatant? Because they have got us right the hell where they want us. The depletion of our system of education in the last three decades has paid handsome dividends for these humorless thugs. We have become a nation of morons.

You have got to give a tip of the hat to corporate whore John Boehner and the entire Right Wing movement. Not only do they have a huge segment of this once-great nation believing that the government is bad (an intelligent debate may be made on both sides of that topic) but that all government is inherently bad. When or if the day ever dawns that finds most Americans believe this fallacy, we might just as well rename our country, the United States of Anarchy.