Now here’s a breaking news story to warm the cockles of your heart and make you proud to be American.
Oh yes, enough to inspire you to shout out loud from the rooftops and declare “See, I told you we were spot on switching to Democrat and voting for the Kenyan guy!”
And why is this so? For the Obama administration’s financial bailout package – all mega-zillions of dollars-worth of it – has – in the midst of this quagmire of a global recession – saved ‘and’ created thirty jobs in Arizona’s 15th Congressional District – simply by laying out a measly $761,420.75c in federal stimulus spending.
Really – no BS. Well, at least that’s according to the website O’Barmy’s boys and the dodgy Fed’ set up to track the $800 zillion bail-out package meant to stimulate the national economy like a poke up the ass with a cattle prod.
However, a spot of close scrutiny from the ubiquitous sceptics corner reveals that something might just stink – like a forged birth certificate – as Arizona’s 15th Congressional District seems to be conspicuous by its absence – inasmuch the crooked Copper State only has 8 districts.
“Oh shit!” and “Whoopsy-Daisy!” cry ‘surprised’ officials from the Las Vegas-based Recovery Board founded by Barky’s likely lads to monitor the mega-zillions of stimulus spending greenbacks.
“Hey, no problems – a minor case of human error – a slight slip of the pen,” RB accountant Billy Bob Scumarotti tells Pox News in Phoenix.
But there is problem- which lies in the fact that $761,420 – plus change – seems to be missing and wholly unaccounted for.
Rep. Sheldon Weaselberg, D-Tel Aviv, who sits on the powerful House Appropriations Committee, issued a press statement to the Embezzlers Gazette demanding that the Recovery Board gets its proverbial shit together and comes up with the actual whereabouts – or a credible disbursement statement – for the three-quarter million bucks that has gone adrift down the ass end of the Grand Canyon.
“What concerns me even more than the missing $760-odd thousand pumped into Arizona’s imaginary15th Congressional District are the massive injections of cash that were awarded to Congressional Districts 9 through 21 when they only have a total of 8.”
“Jesus H. Christ, if that’s the amount of fiddling we’ve uncovered in a dessicated dump like Arizona, what the hell’s gone on in the other 49 states?”
“We’ve even got Kansas claiming a financial bail-out and stimulus package for their 8th District and it’s been obsolete and defunct since the 1930 census – what do ya think of those apples, Toto?”