CEO JOKES 3- WHY DO THEY SEEM TO BE AN ENDLESS SOURCE OF MATERIAL?
What is the difference between a CEO and a vulture?
Vultures fly and at least have the decency to wait until you die to eat you.
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Why is it not a good idea to raise your kid to be a CEO?
He might get sidetracked into similar work like robbing kids for lunch money or laundering money for a drug cartel.
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Historically, how many CEO’s does it take to make a company?
Five. One to create it, one to build it up, one to act like he knows what he is doing while he is running it, one to fake the value of it while the company starts its down-slides and one to make out with as much loot as possible while it disintegrates and goes into bankruptcy.
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Why do Mafia Dons make lousy CEO’s?
They aren’t ruthless enough.
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If you are ever in a lifeboat with three other people and one of them is a CEO and there is only enough food for three people, who do you throw out?
Anyone but the CEO. Water is a natural element for sharks and it only makes them more aggressive.
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Why do you never let a CEO hold your baby?
First off, there is a big trade in kidneys, then people are paying big money for adopting infants, lastly he might be hungry.
It’s not.
They are jokes.
How is this satire?
One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a union worker.
To show off, the engineer called to his dog. “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
The accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each.
Everyone agreed that was good.
The chemist said his dog could do better still. he called to his dog and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was pretty impressive.
Then the three men turned to the union worker and said, “What can your dog do?”
The union worker called to his dog and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, claimed he had injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker’ compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
Now you know why CEO’s can sometimes not give a crap.