chrisvila.com
@vilachumley
Our correspondent, Don Lemon of CNN, caught up with the former President Barack Obama in his first interview since Donald Trump took office.
Don Lemon: What have you been up to these past few weeks, Barack?
Obama: Look around, Don. Just me and a few friends, hanging out on Necker Island…
British Virgin Islands…
You know, Branson’s private island. Oh man, warm and sunny…
Reminds me of my days in Hawaii.
I couldn’t take any more of that “Rancho Mirage Presidential Retreat” place for more than a few days. Been there six times already…
And the weather sucked. California rain? Please…
And folks everywhere.
DL: So what’s the deal here, Barack?
BO: Necker Island? Well, Richard has been a long-time advocate of legal weed.
We met at the White House in 2012 after Dave Cameron came…
Do you remember when Sir Richard joked about asking me for a spliff at that panel discussion? He wasn’t joking. My kind of guy. We just hit it off and I’ve been counting down the days since. When you make it to the top…
That spotlight…
Man, I need that downtime…
Eight friggin’ years…
Serious shit every day…
Hey Don, does it smell like Ferguson?
[LAUGHTER]
DL: Hahahaha. Don’t bust my chops…
I thought i was reporting the scene…
Called it as I saw it.
BO:
Well, that shit’s got to stop!
(LAUGHTER)
… Narc!
Anyways, 2012…
My friend David Maranis wrote that book about my high school years.
I had turned fifty and he reminded me of times…
The Choomwagon, total absorption…
Intercepting joints…
Those were the best years of my life!…
I’m here now, you know what I mean?
DL: And what’s your average day look like?
BO: Well, it’s about “me time…”
I’ve earned it…
Like some midlife crisis…
But better!
I sleep as late as I want…
I’ll read some Borowitz or some GlossyNews. Kick it with one of eight kinds of cereals…
Do you know how hard it is to get BooBerry or Count Chocula?
(LAUGHTER)
… My day doesn’t really start until 4:20.
(LAUGHTER)
I might shoot hoops with Reggie Love… That’s his real name.
(LAUGHTER)
I like my Arugula Salad with jerk chicken. I’ll wash it down with Jamaican Red Stripe Beer and watch the sun go down… Are you feelin’ me?”
DL: Yeah Potus, the islands… Hey, didn’t Michelle just leave here last week to DC with Sasha?
BO: Michelle went. I got her a sweet huge “rental…”
(LAUGHTER)
8,200 square feet in the Kalorama District … I’m having a good time here with Richard… He runs his empire from here…
You know, I can tweet from here, set up my foundation from here…
Don, you know how popular I am, right? So many things I can do…
I’m thinking crazy stuff like writing for Wallace, maybe a regular column…
Or starting a show…
Filmed from right here…
You know it’s gonna work
(LAUGHTER)
… Maybe something like “WWOD, What Would Obama Do?”
(LAUGHTER)
I really have this Dave Chappelle thing in mind… Me as Nixon… Cheney… Russians …
(LAUGHTER)
I’m gonna call it “When They Go Low, I Go High!”
(LOTS OF LAUGHTER)
Michelle came up with that… I’m telling you Don, I’m done with politics!
… Hey what time is it? … Don, you got to go!
(FALL DOWN LAUGHTER)
chrisvila.com
@vilachumley