“Oh gosh, when I woke up Sunday morning, I was just horrified to see my US map with the gun sites directed at US states and names of lawmakers printed below,” claimed a somewhat contrite Sarah Palin in attempting to explain the offending map posted on her SarahPAC web page. “Someone screwed up, and when I find out who it is, they will be reprimanded,” said Sarah Palin in an official denial of any wrongdoing on her part.
When asked to explain then what the map was indicating. “Well gosh,” said Palin, “I used those there crosshair icons on a couple of maps. One was a map I used to strategize my next moose hunts in the upcoming year, and I also used them on a map I used as a joke to show my helpers about putting our sites on the best darn Christmas sales on Black Friday.”
Palin claims she has no idea how the caption came to be attached to this innocuous map and further claims that it was a joke that didn’t have such a great punch line.
“Oh, I remember now,” said Palin, appearing somewhat embarrassed, “that was going to be a calendar gift for all my friends at Christmas. The caption was supposed to be the dates and locations this year I’d be stopping in to give speeches on gun rights.” Then she added, “Someone just got their facts wrong is all. Happens all the time.”
When asked if she was willing to admit there could be a misunderstanding when seeing the map and thusly, the appropriate thing to do would be to take the map entirely off her website, innocuous or not, she replied, “Well, gosh darnit, ya know, we’ve tried that, but it just keeps reloading.”
Murphy Brown had an actionable plan there, BobZaguy.
No problem. I love Murphy Brown.
Kilroy—”I say let’s put them both in a cage-match and let the market decide. Any other criteria is merely the “Coach’s Poll”.”
I like Murphy Brown’s comment when two men vied for top macho slot: “OK, you two, drop your pants, I’ll get the tape measure and we’ll solve this once and for all.”
PB; sorry for the multi-post.
You can use the 9mm to hunt squirrels, but there’s not much meat left on ’em.
You mean not hunting “animals…”
“I believe someone made the point that it comes in handy if you find yourself within range of a herd of 30 or so elk.”
9mm isn’t used for hunting. You can’t take down big game with it. So if it’s not for hunting it must be for… ?
I believe someone made the point that it comes in handy if you find yourself within range of a herd of 30 or so elk.
Well Bob I thank u for the correction on the clip inventory. I don’t know why anybody needs a 30 round clip either, for defensive purposes.
I’ve always heard of “machisimo” being referred to as more of an attitude than a reality. As far as anyone being more macho than anyone else, I say let’s put them both in a cage-match and let the market decide. Any other criteria is merely the “Coach’s Poll”.
Wow, Bobz. Who wound your key today?
I’m enjoying this as it is really fun because this woman is more macho than most male Republican political candidates and office holders could ever dream of being —vis-a-vis— Mitch “Butch” O’Connell; Lindsey “Motherfucker” Graham; her running mate John “Suck This, You C**t” McCain.
Between ‘victimhood’ and ‘let the women do this’, the Repos aren’t sinking to new lows, they are mining for subterranean depths that will match the levels of the Chilean mine workers.
That PR is what they think they need.
“I also write for Glossy News, as far as I know, and I am also a gun owner”
everyone needs an editor! 2 alsos?
Glossy News Writer, Gun Owner!
macho macho macho
I think you are being tres double-entendre here BW…I’d hate to put you in the “bad speller club”.
“…that they’d solve the problem with bullets, if not ballets.”
Would that ballet solution be playing the ‘Nutcracker Suite’? Or Daphné et Cloé?
“I had no idea a 31 round clip could be sold legally in US.”
If you had read properly, you would find that it is a 30-round clip and you put one in the chamber = 31.
Right, like that ever stopped us. Sung to “Three Coins in a Fountain”…”Two Guns and a Nut Case”
I have two guns too.
That doesn’t make me a nut case…
NOW WAIT A MINUTE, DON’T GET STARTED!
Well let the record show the Plaintiff (thas’ me) took care to distance himself from any uncouth assumptions regarding gun ownership among GN writing staff.
Mr. White, I’d say given your penchant for kicking folks’ sacred cows, gun ownership for you is a splendid idea!
I will neither confirm nor deny I am a gun-owner, but I do keep a flamethrower for getting those pesky critters out from under my house. In that vein, I am opposed to any legislature that’ll put limits on the size of the propane tank it can use.
There might be two of them under there.
PB, you hit the bullseye with this one. LT, I submitted an article for review on our boy Fester. Great minds think alike. Or is that twisted minds?
I took a peek. Clever indeed. You may just get that Wurlitzer yet. And here’s a big shocker. I am not a gun owner. Never have been. But I wield a mean rolling pin.
I also write for Glossy News, as far as I know, and I am also a gun owner… I know, sounds like a threat, right?
And I worked 2.5 hours on my response to this story, just now submitted! I usually write a gag story in about 15 minutes. My next one will likely be titled ‘S&M Pizza Chain Whips the Competition.’
But I owed in response to this clever story, a subtly nuanced work of breathtaking, heartbreaking genius. Just mail me my Wurlitzer Prize? I’m not going to NYC during the new Ice Age!!!
Well it’s my understanding we do background checks when people buy guns. Obviously Uncle Fester boy wouldn’t have shown up, since he’d done nothing more than scare the crap out of fellow Pima Community College students at that point.
I may be the only gun owner who writes for Glossy News, I don’t assume such as fact though. But I’ll just say anyway?
It’s not a violation of second amendment if you’re required to register your handgun. Nor violation if you’re required to take handgun safety course, at modest fee. Three day waiting period, not violation of second amendment.
And no civilian needs a 31 round ammo clip. Stevie Wonder doesn’t even need that many rounds to frighten away burglars. I’m all for the second amendment, but we have to apply common sense.
There is no longer a legal limit to how many rounds a gun pistol can hold. During the assault rifle ban, the limit was 10 rounds. That expired in 2004. Calico (youtube video) sells a 9mm with 50 or 100 round clips.
Lib- I think they actually said on a discussion on NPR this morning that it WAS legal. Strange.
‘Uncle Fester boy’- no that sounds like the lead in to an article.
He looks like he could give new definition to the word ‘screwed’.
Well I’m still assaying a riposte that attempts parity. It’s tough though; this is very sharp article.
While I believe Palin isn’t to blame here, and I am a gun owner, I’m pretty shocked by size of ammo clip Uncle Fester boy got hold of.
I had no idea a 31 round clip could be sold legally in US. I can’t imagine any scenario where a clip that size would be defensive.
“It just keeps reloading.” Nice punchline!
This article could possibly be truer than we would like to think.
Take a look at Princess Sarah’s website and see some of the comments in support of her. America is getting to be like the Shiites and the Sunnis.
Wait, what??? We have to give equal time to both sides of the story, guys. We have to give 50% to the guys that said they’d seek 2nd amendment remedies, that they came without their guns (this time) and that they’d solve the problem with bullets, if not ballets. And we also have to give equal time to the party that said “we’ll take down the republicans.”
What??? Doesn’t seem fair? Yeah, well, write the internet about it, libtards!
(I love that word, “libtard”, it helps me immediately understand which side of the fence you’re on.)
Please do. This ending wrote itself. Luck to you, L-T.
Really nice ending. I accept a challenge here.