Tag Archive | "Ted Nugent"

NRA Succeeds In Taking Over U.S.- Bans All Amendments Except Second


The NRA has at last accomplished their goal of taking over the government of what was once was the United States of America.

Initiating a ploy that they were rebels against an unfair, repressive political entity, they succeeding in hiding their real intent until it was too late to stop them.

RIGHT: Regulate this, bitches! (CLICK TO ENLARGE.) Image appears courtesy of Steve Ryan at ElectricUnderpants.com.

They had all the guns; the government had only pompous, meaningless words.

The new President for life, Wayne LaPierre, immediately changed his title upon taking office to “The Czar” and declared amnesty for all those in prison for carrying concealed guns or for possessing what was once deemed inappropriate weaponry.

In the same breath he had his legions of henchmen arrest and put before a firing squad anyone who was known to campaign for gun control or to have protested against any war anywhere in the world. Head Henchman Chief Executioner Ted Nugent was heard to say “Yee-haw! Lets have some target practice on these know-it-all pussies right here and now! Beats shooting clay pigeons any day!”

In the hours after LaPierre’s takeover he and his top subordinates engaged in an hours long meeting that convened with them making the announcement that all Constitutional amendments save the second (“the Right to Bear Arms.”) would be banned. The decisions on it went like this:

“Amendment I.- We repeal the right of free speech. We will tell you what to think and do from here on out- or else!
We repeal the right to religion. God and Christ is good enough for us and should be good enough for everyone else too. If you don’t agree we will shoot you in the name of our Lord.
We have the right of assembly. Anyone else should just stay at home with their doors locked.
IV.- In the future the property of NRA members cannot be searched or seized, but we will reserve the right to do such at any other residence we so wish to.
V.- All Individuals accused of a crime will be brought henceforth before a tribunal of NRA officials. Then shot.
VI.- All trials, speedy or otherwise, shall be abolished. Offenders of any sort will simply be shot.
VII.- Common law is now abolished. We ARE the law.
VIII.- Bail shall be set at whatever price the accused cannot afford so that we can throw them in jail and do whatever we want with them.
IX.- From now on we will decide what your rights are and aren’t.
X.- The powers delegated to the Sates are now delegated to us.

The Second Amendment will from now on be the only Amendment recognized and obeyed. And we do mean OBEYED!!!!!!!

III.-The Amendment about quartering soldiers at private homes is still under consideration as we are debating whether to station our more loyal members at the houses of those who refuse to become members. Someone needs to keep an eye on them.

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Ted Nugent Gets a Good Hunting Buddy in Killer Cannibal Luka Magnotta


Ted Nugent, the flaming redneck of rock and gun fame, who was most recently in the news for ‘suggesting’ that Obama and his Cabinet be beheaded, has found himself a new hunting buddy. “That damn (expletive deleted) Luka Magnotta (the Canadian porn star who tortured and killed his gay Chinese lover on camera, ate part of him, then mailed parts of his body to governmental offices)… Read the full story

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Moose Take Aim on Chickenhawk Ted Nugent


POINT BARROW, Alaska (GlossyNews) — Local Alaskan law enforcement agencies were shocked recently to learn of a plot by local moose to do in redneck rocker Ted Nugent during a concert here. The normally quiet, vegetarian moose have been in a tither since his concert posters were first put up. Their anger is over the fact that the long haired and semi psychopathic Nugent is a famous hunter as well, one who seems to deem it an almost religious undertaking.

“The shooting of animals for sport and meat is a God given virtue that He has given unto man. We are meant to have dominion over the earth and its denizens. That means we have the right to blow them into teensy little pieces if we want to.” Read the full story

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