Tag Archive | "santa"

Santa Drives Sleigh, Amazon Drives him to Bankruptcy


The North Pole: Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick was anything but Jolly as he announced to his elves and a tearful Mrs. Claus, that his North Pole-based Christmas empire, Kringle Corp World-Wide, will be filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy later this week. Read the full story

Posted in Human Interest, ReligionismComments (4)

4K Glossy News PODCAST 022 (12-22-15) – The Christmas Episode!


It’s the first Christmas podcast, and I’ve pulled out all the stops and then some. Wow I must be crazy to post all this stuff, sheesh!

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the December 22nd, 2015 4K/UHD Christmas podcast. Read the full story

Posted in Podcasts, Video NewsComments (0)

Local Man Preemptively Places Decorative Christmas Deer in Doggy Style Position


WICHITA – On Monday afternoon local man and self-described holiday enthusiast Phillip Bakers preemptively arranged his two decorative outdoor Christmas reindeer, a common addition to the front yards of many Christian Americans, in the doggy style position.

“I know that little [expletive] Tim Mardocky down the street gets a huge kick out of placing my yard deer on top of each other like they’re having sex every Christmas,” said the married 49-year-old father of three. Read the full story

Posted in Society, Strange PeopleComments (3)

Santa Gives China High-Sulfur Coal for Being Bad


Santa isn’t pulling any punches this Christmas.

China was bad. REAL bad.

Executing thousands of people for economic, social, political, drug crimes. Then selling their organs. Making the families of the deceased pay for the bullets.

Oppressing Tibetans and Uighurs and anyone else they happen to have under their thumbs. Read the full story

Posted in Environment, HealthComments (0)

Where Have All the Santas Gone? (COMIC)


You remember all those wonderful Santas you met as a child. They were kind, courteous, gracious, patient and loving. But, at least according to this cartoon, they all have on big thing in common.

Click on the image to see it full-size.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

Posted in Comics, ReligionismComments (1)

Study Reveals Disturbing Levels of Inbreeding Among Santa’s Elves


A new study published today in The Journal of Humanoid Genetics reveals high levels of inbreeding among Santa’s famous toy making elves.

Analysis of DNA microsatellites obtained from blood samples taken from several hundred randomly chosen North Pole elves resulted in an estimated coefficient of relationship of approximately 14%. First cousins, for comparison, have a coefficient of relationship of 12.5%. Read the full story

Posted in Science, Science & TechnologizzyComments (3)

Un-Named Elf Leaks Obama Santa Letter


NORTH POLE – One of Santa’s right-leaning elves has reportedly leaked a letter to Santa from one of his most famous correspondents:

Dear Santa,

Thanks again for giving me that big white house four years ago. To be honest, that Read the full story

Posted in PoliticsComments (3)

Resilient Christmas Claims Victory in War on Christmas


NORTH POLE – Christmas – the holiday widely regarded as the most wonderful time of the year – today claimed victory in the War on Christmas, after enemy combatants and political correctness brigades surrendered in the early hours of the morning.

Its victory brings to a close 11 years of violent combat, which has seen bureaucrats carry out persistent strategic attacks on the special day in a war that is reported to have bored over two million people since fighting began on December 6, 2000. Read the full story

Posted in SocietyComments (2)

Black Friday Specials Rumored to Include Food for the Poor


Women, Infants and Children (WIC) take heart. This year, Black Friday specials offered by stores such as Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, Sam’s Club and others aren’t all about the X-Box. They are all about survival. Instead of offering Wii’s for less than $100 and gaming equipment for a third of its original cost, these stores are offering milk at half price, cheese below the manufacturer’s cost, and cereal for next to nothing. Read the full story

Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

Republican “Prayercast” Convinces Santa to Skip Obama House This Year


Malia and Sasha Obama woke up to a pretty lame Christmas morning when they discovered that Santa had not visited their house this year. Said Michelle Obama, “had Barack and I not prepared for this contingency, the girls would have had no Christmas at all. Thank goodness we had the foresight to ask what would happen if some short-minded Republican Party leaders decided to pray against a nice Christmas for our children, and we went ahead and sent over some staff members to get some Elmos and I-pods for the girls at Walmart.” Read the full story

Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Alaskan Villagers Purposely ‘Being Bad’ To Get Coal From Santa


Point Barrow, AK (GlossyNews) — Residents of the Arctic town of Sealgut Alaska have resorted to extreme means to get their heating fuel supplies for this winter. Faced by two months of near total darkness and bone-chilling cold with little economic resources to carry them through, the villagers have resorted to ‘being bad’ in the hopes that Santa will give them coal in their stockings this winter that they can use for fuel. Much to the local State Troopers chagrin, Read the full story

Posted in Strange PeopleComments (0)

US Fathers Pledge to Model Obama: Promise Kids Puppy If Elected President


Taking up the difficult charge requested of the nation’s newest president, fathers around the country have stepped up to make difficult choices and keep hope alive in the next generation. Many are doing this by emulating the exact behavior of Barack Obama and promising their dog demanding children that they too can have a puppy… you know, when dad gets elected president. Read the full story

Posted in Human Interest, Kidz Zone, PoliticsComments (0)

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