The Only 14 Zingers at the 2012 Presidential Debate

Respective political rhetoric aside, there were only a few bright (or even interesting) moments in the presidential debate. Following are the only 14 things even close to a “zinger” uttered by Obama, Romney or Jim Lehrer.

1) Romney: “Happy Anniversary, Mr. President. So, how about that threesome?”

2) Obama: “Actually, last year this time, I was planning on wrecking Donald Trump in this debate. But, you had better hair.”

3) Romney: “The only thing green about those jobs the President proposes is the weenie they’re giving the American people”.

4) Obama: “Undefined loopholes and tax cuts are revenue neutral? Who wrote your economic plan? Big Bird?”

“I’m too embarrassed to admit I even watched it!”
5) Romney: “Quit bringing up Abraham Lincoln. You’d have been more than stopped and frisked at Lincoln’s presidential debate.”

6) Obama: “My distinguished opponent would fight a war with Iran just like he fought the Vietnam War: in Paris going door to door.”

7) Romney: “Reverend Wright would have made a mighty fine Mormon.”

8) Obama: “The distinguished gentleman is going to grow a whip mustache, kick old ladies off Medicaid and make them watch while he drills their public lands like a drunken sailor on shore leave!”

9) Romney: “Aw come on, quit whisking aside the 10th Amendment and let them sell a kidney to pay for their own insurance. Of course since they didn’t have that kidney when they got the insurance, it still counts as a preexisting condition.”

10) Obama: “Basically, my opponent proposes outsourcing federal programs like Medicare to the states to reduce government overhead? Hell, I just figure we quit overpaying insurance companies and…pass the savings on to you! How can I afford to do this? Because I’m craaaaaaazzzzyyy!!”

11) Romney: “You, sir, are not a team player!”

12) Obama: “Under my esteemed nemesis’ nebulous, undetailed education plan, we couldn’t hire enough teachers to get Jethro to the 6th grade”.

13) Romney: “That’s about as long as those nerd math and science teachers last in public schools anyway!”

14) Lehrer: “I’m tired of being talked over by you f***ing royal highnesses over there!”

Author: Kilroy

Deceased and recently reanimated writer haunting websites worldwide. The Afterlife has no cable TV so I initially came back as one of the Writing Dead on the Internet. But you can literally starve looking for brains to eat on some sites. Lost and disillusioned in the Netherworld, I wandered in limbo looking for meaningful work. I worked on Bernie Sander's campaign as a ghost writer until I was approached by The Sith and reanimated as a Sith Writer. Sure they could use a better dental plan but I 'm back, in black, and dressed for Sithcess.

3 thoughts on “The Only 14 Zingers at the 2012 Presidential Debate

  1. Funny Kilroy…had to laugh.

    Obama had his hat handed to him and even MSNBC said he lost big time. Obama looked exactly as he is… an empty-suited amatuer lost without his teleprompter.

  2. I watched it and I was surprised how well prepared and articulate Romney was. Sure, he still told a bunch of outright lies (say “government takeover” again and I’ll punch you in the dick!) but he had an answer for everything.

    Obama had the only genuine laugh-lines. That alone doesn’t make a victory.

    I call it a draw, but the media narrative over the next couple days and the polls over the next week will ultimately tell us who actually won.

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