Paris (GlossyNews) — French official are scrambling this afternoon in an apparent effort to appease their  enraged Chinese counterparts.

The dispute began with reports of an ill-advised boast made by General Pierre Petit on the French Riviera Monday afternoon, where military leaders were meeting to discuss national defense over wine and cheese. General Petit emphatically declared the following: Read the full story

Paris (GlossyNews) — The French Ministry of Defense this morning announced that a French Navy destroyer, the FS Ouragan (Hurricane), surrendered to Somali pirates after a small outboard motor powered speed boat came alongside and fired a pistol towards the command bridge.

FS Ouragan, a Horizon class destroyer, carries 8 Exocet anti-ship missles, two Otobreda 76mm super rapid guns and two 20mm cannons, in addition to anti-missle missles. Read the full story

Long having been regarded the financial heart of the Middle East, Dubai rocked world markets this week with announced uncertainty on servicing some $60 billion in debt. So today’s further information was heralded as calming news that will facilitate market stability.

Dubai Financial Ministry spokesman Adam Lambert explained, “Dubai regrets if anybody took it the wrong way, but it was a necessary first step towards a greater plan.” Read the full story

French Telecom workers staged protests on Thursday over a wave of a suicides that union leaders blame on the company’s failure to help staff deal with the stress from restructuring (read mass firings, redundancies and lateral – more at descending – promotions).

About 10,000 employees downed pencils and rallied in Paris and 5,000 others gathered outside corporate headquarters in the city of Troyes after a 93-year-old executive stabbed himself in the back forty-seven times with a whiteboard marker after learning that he had been demoted from Vice President (Stationaries) to tea boy. Read the full story

Hours, KW – The Eiffel Tower is now a threat to aviation safety as it stands unlit in the Paris night. Other famous landmarks in various European cities have gone dark as well due to the European Union’s decision to ban incandescent light bulbs in favor of replacing them with the more energy efficient compact fluorescent bulbs (CFL) sold by Wal-Marts all over Europe. Read the full story