Tag Archive | "naacp"

Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But Not Transsexual (1/2)


Rick Santorum has not given the warm and generous welcome to the Supreme Court decision that a number of Republicans had anticipated.

So he’s decided to avoid a false neutrality on this occasion and really speak from the heart.

This may come as a surprise to not a few of you, but I think the new rules are actually totally heterophobic.

I mean, why can’t I have a gay marriage if I want it? So seriously, in order to have a gay marriage, you actually have to be gay? Read the full story

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NAACP officially changes name


Baltimore, MD. — In an unexpected, yet timely move, the group formerly known as the NAACP have changed their name to the National Association for the Advancement of African-Americans or NAAAA.

The first meeting of the new group, held yesterday, commenced with the new tradition of “Hail NAAAA.”

When reporters tried to reach out to the Obama administration to discuss this historic day, the president was only half interested. Read the full story

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Extremist Group Exercises its Freedom of Religion on NAACP Building


A Montana neo-Nazi extremist organization, The Color White, Inc., claimed responsibility earlier today for the recent bombing of a building in Colorado Springs, owned by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

The building, including the part rented to the popular barbershop Mr. G’s Hair Design Studios, suffered minor damage when a grenade detonated next to a portable kerosene tank, which did not explode during the attack. Read the full story

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Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating Crap Out of Him


Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating the Crap Out of Him (Family-Friendly Censored Version)

Mr. Piggy Adam Richman, a titty overweight eater, who had his very own show on the Travel Channel mocked his “critics” by posting a comment, “Grab a razor blade and draw a bath.”

He later went on to apologize and calm the tits out of everyone before he went to panic mode. The stunt surprised everyone, given the fact that Adam only eats when he’s mad. Putting a comment such as may as well saved his life from another heart attack. Poor fatty. Read the full story

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New Study Shows the Mexican Cartel to Be “Bunch of Homos(exuals)”


A new study done by the Political Association of Immigration Soldiers and American Students reveals the Mexican Cartel, the same people that love to molest its house rats (no, not their children), to be having mass intercourse with one another. Read the full story

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Non-Racist Tea Party Holds Rally on Mexico-Arizona Border


NOGALES, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The Tea Party, which claims it is less racist than a blind beggar, held a rally on the Mexico-Arizona border today to demand the US Government, which they claim spends too much money, spend millions more dollars to patrol the border and keep out illegal immigrants.

The rally was held at a private ranch near a gigantic wall the US Government already built to keep out Mexicans. Apparently the wall is not enough, because the Tea Partiers taped American flags all over it to really scare the bejesus out of anybody with brown skin getting near it. In another flourish of non-racism, the Tea Partiers taped hand-written messages to the TWENTY FOOT TALL WALL ALREADY BUILT TO KEEP OUT MEXICANS with ideas on how to stop immigration. Some of the messages were poignant, such as “the mesicns r returded” while others were to the point, such as “nuke Mexico.“ Read the full story

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You May Not Know Alvin Greene Now, But You Will


IIMANNING, South Carolina (Glossy News) – It’s been over a month since virtual unknown Alvin Greene from South Carolina became the Democratic candidate to run against incumbent Republican, Jim DeMint for a United States Senate seat in November. As some background, he’s the 32-year old unemployed Army vet, black (although that’s really not the issue except that it is, after all, South Carolina) who mysteriously came up with the $10000 it takes to get your name on the ballot for senator, and ended up winning the Democratic primary in a landslide over someone who was a bit better known. Read the full story

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Sarah Palin Wants to Lead the NAACP


Baltimore, MD (GlossyNews) — The Membership Council of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) announced this morning that they were reviewing an application for membership from Sarah Louise Palin.

Only two hours later, Mrs Palin held a press conference where she reportedly expressed her desire to become chairman of the NAACP.

During a rare question and answer session after the press conference, where Mrs Palin answered questions herself, one reporter asked, “How can you be a member of the NAACP when you aren’t black?” Read the full story

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