MELBOURNE, Australia (GlossyNews) — Police in Melbourne, Australia’s second largest city, were today demanding sturdier weapons as they continue their relentless beating of brown people and anyone who talks a bit funny. This coincided with the apparent revelation, that during 2006 – 2009 the Office of Police Integrity (OPI) only investigated 1 out of the 20 complaints made against police by Australians of African descent. Read the full story

Tiger Woods, in a typical display of celebrity pout and unqualified arrogance, continues to refuse to be interviewed by police officers investigating the five mile per hour catastrophic vehicle accident that occurred directly outside his exclusive suburban Egoville mansion near Orlando, Florida when his Cadillac Escalade SUV was in a series of collisions with a #9 iron golf club. Read the full story