Tag Archive | "computer"

The “joy” of buying a new computer

I recently bought a new laptop because my old one was having problems. From my purchase experience, I want to pass along the following helpful piece of advice: NEVER EVER BUY A NEW COMPUTER.

Limp along with your Apple Lisa for as long as you possibly can – because once you buy a new computer, your nightmares have just begun. The following is a 100% true retelling of my experience. Read the full story


Posted in Internets Tubes, SocietyComments (0)

“My Hard Drive Crashed” In as Most Used Excuse, “Dog Ate my Homework” Out

Rio Linda, CA – People have excuses for everything. For years, kids have notoriously used the well-known excuse, “My dog ate my homework”, when wanting to excuse why they didn’t do their homework. Read the full story


Posted in Human Interest, SocietyComments (2)

Starving Artists call the Internet a vast Communist Conspiracy

Millions of underemployed or out-of-work citizens of Canada, Europe, and the United States took to the streets to protest the internet as a vast communist conspiracy.

Moreover, many Westerners are flocking to China, praising its pervasive censorship of the internet as instrumental to that country’s economic boom. Read the full story


Posted in Gadgets & GizmosComments (0)

An Open Letter to Atos Healthcare

Dear Atos,

My family and I would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the miracle you caused in my cousin, Laura Sutton.

After a most thorough assessment, during which you asked such questions as to whether she could touch various parts of her body and push a button, you gave her a score of zero points, and it is for this my whole family thanks you. Read the full story


Posted in Crooked Cops, HealthComments (11)

Computer Beats Kids at Candy Land… Holy Terrorbytes, Batman

IBM is at it again, but this time their target for domination isn’t aimed at nerdy trivia buffs or intimidating chess masters. No, its electronic jaws are now chomping at the bit to take a megabyte out of sweet innocent little children.

The big story in science and technology this past week was the defeat of Jeopardy! champions Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter by a supercomputer named Watson. Read the full story


Posted in Kidz Zone, Science & TechnologizzyComments (0)

Pakistani Man Shuts Down Internet Due To Footwear Problems

Nobi Patel was visibly discouraged as he searched shop after shop looking for a comfortable pair of shoes to wear while bicycle powering up his village’s internet section. After almost a week of no internet connections, angry neighbors were hurling insults as he passed, hoping to antagonize the simple man as his internet power generator, sat idle near the outhouse. Read the full story


Posted in Human Interest, World NewsComments (1)

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