Spring Break Jokes

With warmer weather approaching and Spring Break right around the corner, Glossy News has decided, against our normal routine, to share some jokes.

Normally we structure some sort of premise then jam all the jokes in around it, but sometimes it’s just easier this way.

Why do Spring Breakers not like blond jokes?
– They always have to find a blond to explain them.

Did you hear about the Spring Breaker who had a brain bruise?
– He sat down too hard.

Why does Bud beer always sell so well at Spring Break?
– Spring breakers can’t pronounce Heinekin.

Did you hear about the special type of DUI that the police issue at Spring Break?
– Driving Under the Intelligence level.

Why do Spring Breakers always run around naked?
– They haven’t figured out how buttons and zippers work yet.

What do you call twins on Spring Break?
– A good reason for legalizing abortions.

Why do Spring Breakers use snowboards that are rounded at both ends?
– Because they don’t know if they are coming or going.

How do you tell the difference between a regular tourist and a Spring Breaker?
– A regular tourist will not be found in the morning upside down stoned in a trash can with his pants missing and one of his socks over his genitals (usually).

How does a female college student explain to her dad that she is pregnant four months after coming home from Spring Break?
– “He told me it was a condom. How was I to know it was the plastic bag from the wine bottle?”

Why do college students drink so much at Spring Break?
– They find that diminished brain cells help lessen the blow of failing out of school.

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NOTE – To those wishing to comment- Yes, I know this is not an article. Just take it for what it is and we will all be a lot happier and maybe have a chuckle.