Tel Aviv, IA -(Glossy News) Mourners filled the office of Zion Shipping Lines after news of the first Israeli cruise ship, the Moe Weiner, was reported foundering in rough waters in Lake Champaine in upstate New York.
According to several eyewitnesses, the Moe Weiner hit a partially submerged object. Later identified as a possible Golberg, the heavily laden cruise ship began sinking almost immediately. The Weiner had life boats on board to provide ready rescue for 750 passengers, but the crowded ship passenger log showed almost 7,500 booked onto the maiden voyage. Loss of life is expected to be high.
“Goldbergs at this time of year are usually way south off in the Catskill Mountains and it’s very unusual to find them floating this far north,” claims cruise liner captain Moshe Lipschitz, a reserve captain for Zion Shipping Lines in New York.
New York State authorities have dispatched several helicopters and rescue boats in order to pick up any survivors.
Meanwhile in Tehran, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threatened more floating ‘Goldbergs’ if Israeli didn’t immediately leave planet Earth. In Tel Aviv, the government promised swift retaliation if Ahmadinejad (pronounced I-need-a-dinner-jacket) makes good on his threats.
Washington has been negotiating with the Iranian government in recent years about its secret Goldberg production plant in the south of Tehran, amid denials by Iranian officilas who claimed it is was only a frozen water processing plant for its burgeoning cocktail bar trade.