Englishman Shares Home With 240 “Intimacy” Dolls

Cyril Knowles 52, of Wembley is a happily married man. Yet he shares his modest home with 240 sex dolls of all shapes, sizes and colors.

Strangely, Mrs Knowles helps him to dress and undress his silicone legion, and even takes them for trips out in the family car.

Cyril claims that his unusual “hobby” started when he bought a rag doll for a favorite niece, and found himself inexplicably attracted to it.

The first few dolls which Cyril purchased were of the inflatable variety, but as technology advanced, he quickly added lifelike silicone models to his collection, many made in Japan, and one featuring realistically wobbly boobs and buttocks.

It is a disconcerting experience walking into the Knowles’ modest bungalow, and finding oneself surrounded by gawky looking, legs akimbo, cross eyed lingerie-wearing dolls.

“The eyes can be problematic,” Knowles admitted. “One of the dolls is so cross eyed that when she cries the tears roll down her back. But those clever Japanese bods are beavering away in their workshops trying to perfect the hitherto wonky eyes.”

Which seems a fair point, but the question on everybody’s lips is: Does Cyril have sexual relations with his collection?

Cyril denies that the dolls are in any way a sexual perversion, as his wife wouldn’t stand for that sort of thing, but he does admit to dancing with them, wearing a pair of specially adapted shoes, taking them down the pub, and going for long walks on the riverbank.

One of the dolls is so realistic that it sheds tears and its nose runs.

“Not quite,” Cyril blurted. “She’s just full up.”

Amazing…

Author: Skoob1999

No time for this! The bus is coming! Skoob - English, terminally bewildered, from Manchester, but without the Oasis style monobrow. And a United fan. Currently unemployed due to idleness.

17 thoughts on “Englishman Shares Home With 240 “Intimacy” Dolls

  1. Kilroy, that’s seriously funny.

    Don’t get me at it.

    Once I get started, it’s hard to stop.

    Nay – impossible.

    Cheers mate, and all at Glossy.

    Skoob.

  2. Yeah, Brian, I think someone could corner the market in specialty love dolls catering to personalized fantasies. Take the “Kirstie Alley” model, for instance. You fill it with 250 pounds of sand, drag it to a dance floor and then pull it over on top of you.

  3. RE: the accompanying photo…

    Is it necessary to blur and conceal the breasts and genitals of a plastic inflated doll on the net? Really?

  4. “How does one actually return a doll for warranty work,”

    Use a match, a touch of flammable liquid, poof. Saves the UPS shipping.

  5. Kilroy’s on to something there. They should market a line of huge sex dolls. Tall ones, fat ones, whatever. You can fill them with sand to get the weight closer to right (and the boob texture, according Steve Carrell.) 300-pound love doll… genius.

  6. How does one actually return a doll for warranty work, and what would you choose as a “Reason Code” for the return?

    Checkbox A: Fibratory finger failure.
    Checkbox B: Excessive orifice friction.
    Checkbox C: Dirty Hair. (No need to elaborate)
    .
    .
    .

  7. The problem with the love doll business is the same blank stare and the “Home Alone” look of surprise on every model. Besides, they’re too short…

  8. BASICALLY true??? Oh Skoob, you’re new here. You don’t yet know which parts are real and which are fantasy… we all have hundreds of love dolls. Just telling you. 🙁

  9. Oh really? I thought you could go only get banned by calling the help line and, well, I signed a thing saying I wouldn’t talk about it. Never mind.

  10. See, I knew my total of zero was low. I mean, I knew it seemed low, but this is proof.

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