Gay Muslim Arrested for “Loving Mohammed”

RIYADH – An openly gay Muslim has been arrested by religious police for professing his desire to “make love” with the prophet Mohammed.

According to eyewitness reports, Omar al-Haard was accosted by thirty police officers after being caught in a major city square singing about his intentions towards the prophet, who is both reviled and adored in different parts of the world.

Al-Haard is said to have attracted attention by singing:

“Mohammed let me love you, until you learn to love yourself!”

Al-Haard tearfully explained to police that he had only the best in mind with his song and the succeeding dance. “I only wanted to make love to him, before the bomb sitting on his turban went off.”

The police supervisors are not buying it, however. Chief investigator Tadar bin-Tadee said the defendant’s actions were completely unwarranted. “Although Saudi Arabia is one of the most gay countries in the world, Mr. Al-Haard’s behavior took place on a Monday, and sodomy committed with the Prophet Mohammed is illegal on that day. We have no choice but to charge him with breaking the law.”

No sooner had Al-Haard’s story gone viral than a support organization was established in London to advocate for his rights. The “Coaltiion for Clarity in the Prophet Mohammed’s Gay Past and Love of Diversity” came into being within hours, with furious members demanding the singer’s release.

“I did have a deep and swelling relationship with the Prophet Mohammed in the past, and he is more than happy with Al-Haard’s sweet consideration,” said president Rob Mital.

The UN has also pledged to take action by sending the government of Saudi Arabia a ”harshly-worded complaint.”