Programming ceased today at the popular 700 Club network, as Pat Robertson was rushed to the hospital. The 79 year old televangelist complained of “like needles sticking in me all over, particularly in the crotch area.” The attack came as the religous leader was taping part 2 of an ongoing expose on Voodoo and tectonic plate activity in Haiti.
700 Club spokesperson Sharon Bucks acknowledged the hospitalization comes at an “unfortunate time” but urged reporters that the main focus is Reverend Robertson’s health.
“We just want brother Pat back, as soon as possible, doing God’s good work. And while programming is temporarily disrupted, there’s nothing wrong with the phones. We’re still taking donations.”
Robertson is reported to be in good spirits, although the sharp piercing pains continue unabated. At this time, Doctors remain baffled as to why the beloved televangelist feels like needles are pricking him all over.