LEXINGTON, KY – Following yesterday’s landmark Supreme Court decision to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act, the nation’s horses demanded Thursday the right to marry their owners.
Marriage between members of the Equidae family and homosapiens is not currently recognized by any of the 50 states, though state senators in Alabama are thought to be moving forward with a proposal.
Forming a peaceful demonstration outside of a Kentucky stable this afternoon, thousands of horses sought to make their message loud and clear to American lawmakers: we want the same marital privileges as straight and same-sex couples.
“We only have one demand,” neighed racehorse and key advocate for inter-species marriage, Big Brown. “Let us marry who we want.”
“The government does not have the right to dictate which humans we are allowed to love, nor can it deny us the same marital benefits enjoyed by millions of same-species couples nationwide. Denying us these basic rights is unconstitutional.”
Today’s rally comes after a recent Zogby poll found that less than 1% of Americans support the idea of bestial marriage, while an overwhelming majority of congressmen and state senators from both parties insisted “no.”