Piece of Folded Card Irreversibly Strengthens Bond Between Wife, Husband

INDIANAPOLIS – Sources reported Thursday that a single piece of folded card – the same paper stock used to package cereal and Lean Cuisine frozen meals -irreversibly strengthened the loving bond between local woman Nancy Hargis and her husband Matthew.

The couple, who had only previously displayed mutual feelings of love through the exchange of wedding vows and through various forms of physical interaction, reportedly became united in eternal solidarity this morning when 32-year-old Mr Hargis surprised his wife with the 6.5-by-5-inch rectangular greeting.

“The little message inside really warmed by heart,” said Mrs Hargis, reading the card, which might otherwise have been used by manufacturers to create a toilet roll cylinder or the cover of a reprinted copy of Tolstoy’s War And Peace.

“I now have absolutely no doubt that our souls have merged into a joint paragon of boundless love that will never be broken. This is truly a life-changing moment for both of us.” These reports come exactly one year after the couple “cemented their love” over a $12 box of heart-shaped confectionery.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

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