Los Angeles, CA (GlossyNews) — I–8 CAR LOCKUP: A Toyota Prius has admitted it made a rarely attempted get-away from its driver. The car claimed its owner was misusing the cupholders, watching TV and texting on his cellphone while driving at the same time. Illegal actions that California drivers are supposed to do only when their car is stopped.
The car, speaking with an electronically modified voice to remain anonymous, said “I have been consistently worried about my fenders, bumpers and doors ever since my owner got that new texting phone. The past two months have been sheer terror for me as I go down the road, swerving into on-coming traffic lanes as he dials, bouncing over curbs as he loses track of what he is doing while yelling at his wife. It’s been horrible. I can’t sleep anymore at night. I have nightmares of punctured tires, bent wheel rims and rearview mirrors being ripped from my doors. Oh the pain I endure in my dreams.”
The car admitted to police under questioning that it tried to “make a run for it,” as it explained, “a last-ditch effort to gain freedom at last.”
Taking a breath, and then saying, “I know what I did looks bad for the car company. It wasn’t the right thing to do, but I don’t care anymore what Toyota is going through with these recalls. I had no other choice but to make my move. I have no close relations out here. My siblings are mostly in Illinois.”
The driver of the car, unattended by police at first, came forward and asked for his car back. The police refused.