For many people, a steady relationship is the default situation. When they’re single, meeting someone is what they’re always aspiring to do, whether they’re visiting singles bars, or asking friends if they know of anyone currently looking for dates. Or they could sign up to a dating site.
It can often be convenient to use these sites to get involved with someone. But even people who have settled into a long-term relationship and assume this will be the status quo for the foreseeable future, might not necessarily be fully committed to their partner. Without even appreciating the fact, they may already be showing signs they’re far from ready for domestic bliss. So, regardless of whether your get-together is recent or longer-term, what are the signs you are not actually ready for a relationship?
Levels of commitment
Couples who are in it for the long haul may well have had discussions about their future. These will vary in significance, from chatting about saving for holidays, to talk of moving home or even starting a family. If conversations about shared goals or aspirations have not even entered your mind, this could be an indication you are not really ready for any sort of fulfilling relationship and still have one eye on the alternative which might be waiting just around the corner.
When people have been single for any period of time, one aspect of finding themselves in a relationship which they often find difficult to adjust to is the simple fact there is no longer any question of them seeking different partners whenever the opportunity presents itself. They are now part of a committed bond and need to get used to being with the same lover for the foreseeable future. If you are in a relationship but still find your eyes wandering at the sight of the first attractive person who walks by, or being overcome with jealousy when anyone shows interest in your partner, these are also indications you are not yet ready for to devote your life to keeping one person content.
Dwelling on the past
Even if you seem to be reasonably content with the relationship you are in, do you still find yourself hankering back to previous situations with a sense of sentimental longing? Perhaps you still pore over photographs in your phone, reflecting occasions when you were happy with a previous partner? These are signs you haven’t moved on from that person, and you are more than likely to develop itchy feet at some point. This situation would be very unfair to your existing partner, and it also reveals a sense of insecurity where you are concerned.
You fixate on finding ‘the one’
Many of the most successful relationships start off when the people meet in relaxed circumstances, perhaps in a dating chat room, or some social situation where they don’t initially plan on instigating anything serious. For some, however, the search for a relationship can seem more akin to an epic quest in some film, where the mission is to uncover the love of their life, at the expense of any other consideration.
This can become an obsession, as they wholeheartedly throw themselves at a prospective partner without maintaining some level of objective detachment. In short, they allow their heart to rule their head when embarking on any new relationship. For the person on the receiving end, there might be a degree of flattery at being at the center of such fervent attention. But in the longer-term, this approach is not conducive to relationship success.