In a controversial incident on Fox News, Bill O’Reilly was interviewing God, asking how the Almighty could come to allow the Democrats to run both the Senate and White House. During God’s attempt to explain that he had to be fair to all sides, O’Reilly got peeved when God started to explain the Democrats point of view and constantly interrupted Him. Midway through the show O’Reilly blew his stack and told God to “Shut up!”
Jehovah (our society now allows us to go on a first name basis with everyone) was taken aback at this. Three thousand years ago he would have rained fire and brimstone down upon the commentator, but the Jesus thing two thousand years ago has mellowed him out. Jehovah kept his cool and said, “Now Bill, we don’t have to get so personal about all this”
The inflamed Irishman stayed inflamed. “To hell I don’t! I get paid damn good money to push certain points on my show and not others! By God, those points will get top billing here and not those of the spineless Democrats!”
Now it was Jehovah’s turn to lose it. “All creatures in this world have their own program they run by and they are allowed to have it. That is the way it is and that is the way it will stay! And when you take my name in vain you better be smiling when you say it! And when you say “to Hell with something, remember, I am the One holding the one way tickets for getting there! Remember, are always seats open!”
The two god like beings were standing nose to nose, fists clenched in anger. O’Reilly, used to intimidating his guests with his 6”2′ height, was not used to dealing with an omniscient superstar who towered above him.
“Well…well…I bet you would do the same for the Muslims!”
“You bet I would. Why, I even express the side of the Republicans sometimes.”
With that, O’Reilly went buggy eyed and, not knowing what to do, stormed off his own set.
God, left alone with the microphone, began to do improvisational karaoke until senior Fox officials came around and pulled the plug. Security then roughly escorted God to the door.
Fox’s ratings that night went through the roof, especially the karaoke part.
Illegal Pirate ‘Saddam Channel’ Newest Hit On Iraqui Television!
A new, mysterious pirate television channel has started broadcasting in Iraq called “Saddam Television”. No one knows the source of the broadcast, but it is surely the work of members of his devoted Baath Party. The programming started exactly three years to the day after his execution.
Programming highlights:
MUSLIM GIRLS GONE WILD!- Fundamentalist women lift up their veils!
WHO’S ASSASINATING ME NOW?- Clips of Saddam doubles being offed by pissed off Iraqis.
IRAQS FAVORITE HOME VIDEOS- Hilarious outtakes of Americas soldiers breaking into
Iraqi homes at night to round up insurgents.
GREAT MOMENTS AT WAR- Short, five minute newsreel showcasing Iraqi successes against coalition forces in both Gulf Wars.
THE GOOD OLD DAYS- A nostalgic look back at life under Saddam when the only time people got tortured and killed was when you crossed the big guy. Also when there was money to buy things, housing without holes blown in it and water to drink.
HOW TO RUN A COUNTRY LIKE IT WAS YOUR PERSONAL BANK- El Mustachio himself gives tips on how to milk an economy for all you can get.
THE PALACES OF SADDAM- A nightly, year long series presenting each day a new lavish home that Saddam had built for himself. A companion piece to How To Run A Country Like It Was Your Personal Bank.
It is widely suspected by intelligence personnel investigating the new channel that it drew inspiration from the new movie “Pirate Radio” that is in cinemas now.