NEW YORK, NY – American rapper Lil Wayne was saved from prison by the teeth figuratively and literally. Born Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr., the spoken word artiste, spoke to the media about the dramatic turn of events.
“Jus’ a couple days ago, I was cussin’ at this mothafuckin’ naggin’ pain. Where’s my fuckin’ .44, heheh, damn!!” he said.
“No pain no gain, and you can see the proof. I feel big ya know what i mean, like not big in the sense of weight you know what i mean, like gaining weight or nothin like that, like colossal know what i mean, like uhhh, sigh I heard they were lookin for me, take me to jail, hey I am here – free Lil birdman like Floozie in the Jacuzzi,” added Weezy.
Though he would only be out for a while until his cracked tooth got fixed, Lil Wayne seemed oblivious of this fact, as you could tell by his wide grin as he bounced down the stairs outside court flanked by his Cash Money/Young Money homeboys Lil Twist, Mack Maine and several others.
When prodded by a reporter on his next plan of avoiding a Court hearing come March 2nd, his reply was “We will come to that bridge when we cross it, and no ruining surprises for my fans ah ah.”
This is not the first time the young rapper has gotten himself into trouble with the law. It seems he is always on the lookout for trouble to get into whenever he is not recording a studio album or smoking pot.
Past incidences which stand out involve Mister Wayne breaking into a drug store and sneaking into a children’s Hospice as ‘Grimaldi’ in both incidences to ‘borrow’ some cough syrup. The syrup was supposedly intended to be mixed with Gatorade or 7up or Coke Zero and other stuff to make “Sizzurp”- syrup for grown ups.
The case was dismissed on compassionate grounds after his lead lawyer, in the closing argument, presented the mostly-black jury of his New Orleans hometown with some freestyle mix tapes.
“You can hear the proof, and with that your honour I rest my case”
Critics have doubted the authenticity of Young Weezy’s claims for the postponement with Cassidy saying “for all we know, he might have cracked his false teeth”.
Others observed it is widely known the rapper has a history of being caught red-handed in possession of copious amounts of illegal drugs.
“Lil birdman sky high on maryjane only? Nope, I doubt it. Yo’ll ain’t know nothin’ of his dope. That ‘phonnie homie’ sonofagun been shooting himself on the foot since them days at Hollygrove,” said 50 cent.
“Didn’t wear a bullet-proof, so I got shot on the foot and you can see the proof.”
Now wheres the thug in that? Excuse me, I am the ex-con here who got shot a mothafuckin’ nine times,” added a now fuming, foaming and bullet-proof wearing 50 Cent.
Asked for comment, Lil Wayne said fuck ya’ll who hatin’ for no reason.