Bin Laden’s Home Video “Bloopers” Found

Among the hoard of video footage found in Osama Bin Laden’s hideout were a number of out-takes and blooper tapes, it was revealed today. These tapes are a mixture of mistakes by Bin Laden himself while talking directly to camera and practical jokes he played on members of his entourage.

CIA analysts examining the tapes say that this new evidence has proved very useful in tracking down his terrorist network, as well as being “laugh-out-loud funny.”

One tape contains a scene where Bin Laden is delivering a chilling message, encouraging jihadists to strike at the “crusaders and drive them from the Arab lands.” Midway through, however, Bin Laden becomes tongue-tied and stumbles over the Arabic word for revenge. He then starts to swear before catching himself, and begins to laugh.

Other masked crew members can then be seen and heard joining in the laughter as Bin Laden continues to helplessly “corpse” on set. After approximately 10 minutes of this, BL playfully tells the crew to “go fornicate” with themselves, before recovering his composure and continuing his broadcast.

Another tape shows one of Bin Laden’s followers asleep on a mattress on the compound floor. Bin Laden then appears on screen, smiling and winking to the camera, and holding up a balloon. He then tiptoes over to the prostrate jihadist, and holds the balloon over his head before bursting it with a pin.

The loud bang that follows wakes up the young terrorist, who looks genuinely terrified as he scrambles around for his Kalashnikov. Meanwhile Bin Laden is rolling around on the floor in hysterics, crying “you should have seen your face Ahmed!” and “I think you just soiled your jubba!”

Some of the tapes were marked for ITV’s “You’ve Been Framed,” a UK television show containing funny home video clips. The show pays £250 for each video they show, and it has been suggested that by sending his tapes in, Bin Laden was hoping to raise money for his global jihad.

Author: noseybonk