BRUSSELS – GlossyNews.com– Veggie Exporters Without Borders is appealing for calm over an E. coli outbreak that has Europeans fearing for their lives.
Now, even Russia, a country with few rules and regulations, has decided to slap a ban on vegetables from Spain and Germany, making exceptions only for the potato.
Germany is pressing to find the cause of this bacterial infection that has sickened thousands. With German anger mounting and the Fatherland on the hunt for one nation or group of people to blame, alarmists warn the E. coli outbreak could trigger a third World War.
Earlier in the week, Germany mistakenly blamed Spanish cucumbers for the E. coli outbreak, a move that outraged Spain. The German Agriculture Minister went as far as calling the Iberian gourds “low-calorie killers.”
Relations between Germany and Spain have remained sour ever since Spain beat Germany en route to winning the FIFA’s World Cup in 2010.
“Eat Your Vegetables?”
European child psychologists fear the E. coli outbreak’s long-term effects on children.
“Kids already hate vegetables and now they find out vegetables can kill you. Suddenly, a cucumber is a green missile – a salad, a toxic concoction of death,” says Dr. Helmut Krantz, the only person we could find to comment.
He believes certain children will grow into “malnourished mutants with low IQs, like ‘gypsies’” and then added something about his eugenics program.
Meantime, this particular E. coli strain has already put a strain on the Spanish tourism industry. Buñol’s world-renowned La Tomatina Festival in August has been cancelled, fearing it could quickly turn into the first ever E. coli Extravaganza.